


Milwaukee: A Place Both Wonderful and Strange

by RedLetterMistress



Category: Jay Bauman - Fandom, Red Letter Media
Genre: Aftercare, Bathing/Washing, Cum Eating, Cunnilingus, Dominance, F/M, Filming, Forced Orgasm, Light BDSM, Love Confessions, Masturbation, NSFW, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn Video, Porn Watching, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Restraints, Roleplay, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Spanking, Travel-sized Chris Evans, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, Well-fitting suits, Zombie Sex., red letter media - Freeform, slow-ish build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-12-07 17:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18238142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLetterMistress/pseuds/RedLetterMistress
Summary: For your first anniversary, you've decided to give Jay the gift that all directors crave:totalcontrol.What will he do with all that power over you? What naughty ideas lurk in the corners of that beautiful brain? Let's find out.- This could be seen as a continuation of the Reader character in my first work,Fire Walk with Jay, but it doesn't have to be. -





	1. The Setup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> 

You pull the lens cap off of the video camera and set it down carefully on the dresser behind you.

The LCD display on the Panasonic AF100 is immediately flooded with light, but quickly adjusts aperture and focus. Eventually, the image of a large bed covered with a navy blue comforter appears in the display. Two pairs of fluffy pillows wrapped in soft, blue flannel cases have been placed carefully against the pewter gray upholstered headboard at the top of the bed. A small, plastic skeleton lounges cross-legged between the two pillows; its skeletal hands propped behind its head in a relaxed pose.

The room looks like a monument to John Carpenter. A vintage marquee _They Live_ poster hangs above the bed, sandwiched between a French _Escape from New York_ print and a _Big Trouble in Little China_ poster from Spain (where it’s known as _Golpe en la Pequena China)._ Each poster has been beautifully framed and is illuminated from above by carefully placed spotlights.

Directly behind you is a sizable black dresser with polished silver hardware on its six long drawers. You’ve had ownership of the top right drawer for half of a year now. The cracked spines of two dozen or so old books line the top of the dresser, all kept upright by two Halloween-themed cement bookends featuring menacing crows perched on white skulls. Some of the books have been read so many times their titles are almost illegible. _Grande Illusions,_ _The Slasher Movie Book, Scored to Death,_ and _If Chins Could Kill_ seem especially well-loved.

An impressive flat screen tv is mounted to the wall above the books on the dresser. The tv is framed with LED backlighting which illuminates in any color imaginable to compliment whatever image is displayed. When you notice a beam of Sunday morning sunlight cutting across the blank screen, you move to the large window on your left and tightly close the slate-gray curtains hanging there.

The room is impeccably clean, short of the pile of dark laundry currently spilling out of the closet on the other side of the bed. A mountain of socks, gray shorts, two pairs of dark jeans, ten or so black T-shirts, three hideous Hawaiian button-ups, and no less than four black hoodies have forced the door open and seem to be making a slow escape along the bedroom floor.

You pull a high-back leather (or is it pleather?) chair out of its usual spot in the corner between the window and the dresser and position it next to the camera.

“Alright, we’re all framed up!” you call out down the hallway as you check to make sure you’ve properly locked the camera onto the tripod. Your ears perk up at the distinct sound of cellophane crinkling noises coming from the kitchen. You yell out towards the doorway:

“You better not be eating Funions, Jay! This is a tight shot and I’m not gonna sit here and pretend to enjoy your Funion breath!”

The crinkling noise immediately stops, followed shortly by the thump of a kitchen cabinet closing. You hear the floorboards of Jay’s solid wood floors creak as he shuffles down the hallway towards you. He stops in the threshold of his bedroom and slouches sloppily against the doorway. He’s pouting just like Paul Rudd in _Wet Hot American Summer._

“Jay? You gonna come in?”  

“I just… I got.. I don’t have time right now.”

You shoot him a look of impatience.

Jay’s face contorts into fake agony as his head falls back with a groan. He pushes his body away from the door frame, flailing his arms limply at his sides. He’s been avoiding this.

Jay drops the act and walks into the center of the camera’s field of view. He pivots to look towards you standing behind the tripod. As short as he is, the camera only captures him from nose to knee. His BooBerry t-shirt takes up most of the screen, but you can still clearly see his khaki shorts under the shirt. Jay shrugs nervously and fidgets while he tries to figure out where to put his hands.

“You have to sit down, Jay,” you instruct.

He takes a moment to sit on the edge of his bed before looking back to you. His hands shift from the navy comforter to the tops of his thighs and back down to the mattress. He tries to cross his legs by resting his foot on the opposite knee, but he only manages to cover his shorts in the dark cat hair that’s built up on his white ankle socks. He attempts to look casual by sitting with his elbows on his knees like Michelle Pfeiffer in _Dangerous Minds_ , but it just makes him look more awkward. He finally sits up like a human being and rests his hands in his lap.

“Is this okay? Here?” he asks.

“You’re in the direct center of the shot,” you reply. “Like in a Wes Anderson film. Is that alright? Or should I do the Rule-of-Thirds thing with the framing?”

Jay looks mildly impressed as he sits up straight on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Woah! Looks like I’m dating a regular Janusz Kaminski!” he says playfully.

“You mean the visionary behind Vanilla Ice’s _Cool as Ice_? And his lesser-known works; _Schindler’s List_ and _Saving Private Ryan_? Why, thank you,” you respond without taking your eyes off of the LCD screen. A small, sly smile forms across your face.

“And let’s not forget _Kingdom of the Crystal Skull_.”

Your smile disappears instantly and you finally look him directly in the eye.

“Don’t be a dick, Jay.”

His goofy grin goes wide as his eyes wrinkle at the corners. He puts up his hands in front of his face in submission with a laugh. “Okay, okay. Sorry. That was too far, I guess.”

“You’re damn right it was,” you shoot back at him; a bright smirk cracking through your otherwise serious face. You focus your attention back to the camera set up before continuing on: “I’m only using the shotgun mic for this, do you think that’s going to be okay?”

“Honestly, I don’t want to do this, but I AM dying a little inside to see you not using a lav or boom mic, but…”

“Oh, do you want me to go get Rich in here to run the boom?”

Jay’s eyes shut tightly as his shoulders slink down in embarrassment. “Noooooo.”

“Okay then,” you respond with an air of sweetness. You bend down and look directly into the viewfinder to make sure Jay is framed up and in focus. You do your best to keep the lessons he’s taught you in mind as you zoom in closer to his face, placing the image of him on the far right side of frame. He looks directly into the camera and bites his lip. He’s clearly nervous. It’s especially adorable.

You move away from the camera and take a seat on the high-back black chair to the left of the tripod. You cross your legs at the ankle and make a show of placing your hands one atop the other on your knee. You are a perfect imitation of a princess.

Let the interrogation begin.


	2. The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the truth comes out.

“Okay honey,” you start. “Why am I filming you today?”

Jay smiles and looks directly into the camera. “Because I wa…I….” he exhales loudly through his nose and shakes his head before shifting his rich green eyes to look at you. “You really want me to say it?” He motions to the plastic skeleton lazily sprawled across his pillow: “In front of Skelley Duvall?”

“Yes. I do,” you reply with a laugh. “Last week, after a lovely date downtown, you swore to me _**on the Bronze Fonz** _that you wouldn’t do it. But you did.”

Jay pulls his hand up to his mouth and he begins to gnaw nervously at the cuticle of his index finger.

You continue on: “And if you broke your promise, I got to choose the punishment, remember?”

Jay’s response is muffled by the fingers covering his mouth. “I knooowww.”

“So what did you do?”

Jay takes his bloody cuticle out of his mouth and sighs before he continues on: “Because I was caught watching _The Re-Penetrator_.”

“Noooo,” you correct him from your chair. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“Because I was caught watching _The Re-Penetrator_ **without** my girlfriend.”

“That's right, Jay,” you laugh. You lean forward in the chair. “You know I don't care about you watching porn, but we had an agreement to watch it _together_.” His face scrunches up as he hears your words. “Come on! It's more fun that way, don't you think?”

Jay rolls his eyes a bit before responding. “Yeaaaaah. It is, I know.” His shoulders shrug up to his ears as he puts his hands up in apology. “But I thought you were still out of town for two more days.”

“But when I got home early to surprise you, what were you doing?”

Jay’s shoulders fall and he looks positively mortified, but he tries to keep smiling. He looks directly into the camera. “I was fucking jerking off to a zombie porn! Okay!”

You try to hide your giggle by covering your mouth. It doesn’t work.

“Mmm hmmm, you were. You broke your promise and dishonored yourself in the eyes of the Bronze Fonz. For shame! Shaaaame!”

“Shaaaaame! Shaaaaaaaame!” Jay adds as he pretends to ring a bell.

You quickly get back to the matter at hand by motioning over to the camera setup.

“So what are you doing now?” you ask.

Jay tosses his imaginary shame bell away as his eyebrows furrow in thought. You hear the scratchy sound of his fingernails scrape against his beard as he ponders the question.

“I'm making an apology video? I guess? Or a confessional? Like I'm on _The Office_ or something?” He laughs. “Because I was dumb enough to teach my beautiful -but apparently vindictive- girlfriend how to work my camera?”

His smile conveys a mixture of pride and mortification. His cheeks are flushing to a bright pink.

“No, Jay. This isn't an apology video.” A smile breaks across your face as you see his confusion. “I just wanted to see if I could get you to go on-camera and admit that I caught you jerking off.”

Your laughter bounces off the walls of his small bedroom.

“Goddamn it!” Jay yells as he pounds his fists on his knees. He’s relieved but clearly still very embarrassed as he moves to get off the bed. You move to the very edge of your chair to reach out to him. Your hands come into frame as you place one on each of his shoulders and guide him to sit back down.

“Wait, wait! I wanted an on-camera admission of guilt, yes. BUT… I also wanted to make something for you.”

“Make me more embarrassed than I am now? I don't know if that's possible.”

You move back to sit properly on the chair before you respond. “No, you dink! I wanted to make something for you that I wouldn't mind walking in on you jerking off to.”

Jay's face is pure confusion.

“You're going to _direct_ me...”

…silence…

“...in a _movie_.”

…silence…

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jay! In a porno! For you!”

Recognition _finally_ registers on his sharp features. In an instant, his expression goes from befuddlement to understanding to excitement. His eyes go wide as saucers; smiling from ear to ear.

“Holy shit! Are you serious?! Really?!”

“Yeah, really. We’ve been together for almost a year now and I feel really safe around you. I thought this could be a fun anniversary gift. We can make anything you want. Maybe do our own _Bride of Re-Penetrator_ or _Beyond Re-Penetrator_. Or switch it up with a _From Beyond_ porn.”

“ _From Be-hind_ ,” Jay interjects. His face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Yes,” you laugh. “You can make a porn version of any Steward Gordon film you want.”

“Even _Robot Jox_?” Jay jokes.

“Could you not ruin this, Jay?”

“Sorry! I got excited. Can we do it now!?” Jay asks. You’re excited about his enthusiasm, but you thought he’d want more production value in his porn directorial debut. Or a script - _something_.

“We can if you want, sure,” you answer. “But we don't have a set, so it might be a pretty vanilla sex tape. We can take some time to dress the place up a bit or figure out a costume for me. Maybe something you like like May or Trash from _Return of the Living Dead,_ or Linda from _Evil Dead_ or something?”

Jay shakes his head. “No need! I know _exactly_ what I want!” He motions toward the pillows behind his shoulder, “But Skelley can’t be in it.”

You lean back in your chair with a small laugh and put your hands up in surrender. “Whatever you say, honey. I, unlike my handsome -but apparently weirdo sex pervert- boyfriend, keep my promises,” you say with a wink.

You adjust your torso slightly so you can rest your elbow on the arm of the chair. You take a moment to run your thumb against your bottom lip as you contemplate your next words.

Your voice is a tinge lower than usual while you lay out your terms: “I promise you I’ll follow your directions without question and you will have _total_ control over me. Is that something you’d like?”

Jay’s eyes glint brightly before he flashes you a crooked grin. His teeth bite into his bottom lip as he considers your proposition.

“Yeah. I think that’s something I’ll like.”

Jay remains motionless while his eyes lose their focus and his mind wanders. You casually look to the LCD display to see if it’s properly capturing just how cute he is when he’s scheming.

“Okay, Jay. How would you like to do this?”

He takes a moment to respond; his brain still swimming with possibilities.

“Oh! Yes! Yes. Okay. Let me get my makeup kit. Can you grab the dress you wore to Mike and Jessi’s Halloween party?”

“Yeah, I think it's in your basement,” you reply happily.

“Awesome! Okay, you go get it and I'll grab my makeup kit.”

He bolts forward, almost knocking over the camera tripod. He places his hands on your knees and looks deeply into your eyes. You doubt you’ll ever get over how beautiful they are; especially when he smiles. Jay grabs your right hand and kisses it gently. He looks up at you through his eyelashes.

“ _Anything_ I want? Are you sure?” he asks.

You were just kidding about the sex-pervert thing earlier, but his concern makes you a little nervous.

“Okaaaaaay,” you start with some apprehension. “I don’t want to do anything with urine or shi…”

“Jesus Fucking Christ! I wasn’t going to bring piss or shit into this!” Jay looks at you with a disgusted smile. You slap him playfully on his chest, but the force of it makes him lose his balance and fall over against the foot of the bed.

“Well you said _‘anything,'_ like, _really fucking_ weird!! I don’t know what kind of weird shit lies in your dark, twisted fantasies, Bauman!”

Jay continues to laugh as he recovers his balance and makes his way to a standing position in front of you. He reaches down to help you out of the chair. His hand wraps around yours as you look up into his smiling face. “How about a safe word if you really don’t want to do something?” he suggests.

“Rem-Lezar,” you answer without hesitation.

Jay laughs loudly and shakes his head. “Why would you want to use 'Rem Lezar'?”

Your eyes go wide with shock at his question. You jump out of your chair and grab Jay by his shoulders. You search his face with desperation.  

“WAIT! Jay! Wait! Wait a goddamn minute! How do  _YOU_ know about Rem Lezar?!?!?”

Jay’s head falls down to his chest as he bursts into laughter. His shoulders shake under your grip as he chuckles loudly. “Does he come on you in YOUR sleep, too?!” he says between bouts of giggling.

When his cackling finally starts to subside, you reach down to capture his bearded face in your hands. Without speaking, you pull his mouth to yours and kiss him sweetly. You smooth your thumbs over the corners of his mustache and hum against his lips in contentment. Jay’s hands wrap around your back to pull you closer. He pulls his face away just enough to look into your eyes.

“You’re so weird… but you’re my kind of weird,” Jay says sincerely. “Now go grab the dress! We’ve got a sex tape to make!” Jay jumps across his bed towards his closet, rips the door open, and starts rifling through his clothes. 

You reach down to hit STOP on the camera before turning to give Jay a small salute.

“Yes, _sir_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Kink is on the way!
> 
> I hope to update this on a regular basis, as I love having my mind be preoccupied with thoughts of new and fun ways to smoosh Jay Bauman. However, some chapters might be delayed as I don't have a proofer and I tend to tinker with phrasing endlessly. Or is that: "I tend to tinker endlessly with phrasing."? You see what I mean. 
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line, comment, or stop by my [Tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/).
> 
>   
> 


	3. Say Yes to the Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get your costume, Jay starts to get into the role.

Jay is totally engrossed in a deep search of his closet as you make your way out of his bedroom and head out the door. The hallway is fairly open for an old house in Milwaukee; the walls painted in a muted gray with crisp white trim. There's an old radiator near the entrance to the kitchen that you always manage to stub your toe on, but not today.

You take a left in the kitchen, heading for the stairs near the back door of the house. A beautiful black cat is at the far end of the kitchen, splayed out on her back and basking in the warmth of a sunbeam.

“Hello, Regan. Could you get out of the way, please?” you direct towards the sleeping cat.

Her golden eyes open slowly and focus on your face. She seems to consider you for a moment before determining that though you _are_ a slight annoyance, you’re nothing to be overly concerned about. She closes her eyes, sprawls out even more widely, and tries to fall back to sleep.

You let out an exasperated sigh before gingerly lifting your foot and stepping over the lounging cat. “Love you too, demon.”

You flip the light on the wall on your right and head down the stairs. Though the main floor of Jay’s house is orderly and clean, the basement is a cluttered homage to a horror fan’s adolescence. A faded cardboard cutout of Freddy Krueger holding a 6-pack of Budweiser on the end of one of his knife fingers stands at the basement entrance. You know it’s there, but it’s still a jump scare every damn time you see it. 

Four _Evil Dead_ posters in varying states of decay are pinned to the plaster walls above a red sectional couch in the far corner of the open room. The five square pillows on the couch each feature a different black-and-white movie monster on the front. A black fleece blanket lays across the cushions, left over from the last time Mike got too drunk to drive home and passed out there.  

As in every good house in the Midwest, there is a small bar in the basement. Four deep red bar stools with brass rivets are tucked neatly under the large countertop. Jay refinished the bar top himself; the dark walnut wood is polished to perfection. The mirror behind the bar is emblazoned with the words “The Winchester” along with several decorative bloody hand prints. A replica pump-action rifle sits perched on a rack above the mirror.

You take a sharp left and head into the laundry/storage room next to the stairs. The room is lit by a single, small window above the washer and dryer. Along the opposite wall is floor-to-ceiling shelving; currently sagging under the weight of dozens of huge Rubbermaid tubs. Each blue tub is labeled with permanent marker across a piece of duct tape.

At eye level, you can see the “Skeletons” tub five tubs away from “Viscera/Intestines?” tub. Near your feet, three tubs are labeled “Blood/Latex,” “Zombie Costumes (Hawaiian)” and “Costumes (Vampire/Fancy).”

You can hear Jay moving furniture in the living room as the wooden ceiling creaks loudly above your head. _Huh._ It seems like a strange place to film a sex tape, but it's his choice. Hopefully, he’ll draw the curtains. You might be making a porno, but no need for a live show for the neighbors.

You pull the last blue Rubbermaid tub across the dusty cement floor and pry off the lid. On the very top of the pile of fancy vampire costumes sits your dress, clumped into a mass of black fabric. You grab the front of the gown and unfurl it down in front of your body. It’s a little wrinkled, but thankfully it’s perfectly clean.

The dress is a near dead-ringer for Morticia’s from the original _Addams Family._ The plunging neckline falls to the center of your chest, perfectly suited to show off the curve of your breasts. The fabric is skin tight across your arms and waist with flared cuffs along the wrists. The skirt goes all the way down to your ankles before pooling along the floor in the shape of a dozen twisty tendrils.

You remember feeling sexy in it, and that Jay really liked you in the dress, but you never thought he’d go for a Morticia Addams sex fantasy.

 _Fine by me,_ you think to yourself as you shrug lightly.

You pop the blue plastic lid back on the bin and push it back into place against the wall. Throwing your dress over your shoulder, you walk out of the laundry and take a right to head up the stairs. Thankfully, Regan has moved to another of her many sleeping spots in the house, so you don’t have to avoid tripping over her.

When you get to the living room, you notice that Jay has moved all of the furniture against the walls. The front door is propped open wide and letting in a lovely breeze. Jay is on his knees rolling up the living room carpet with a focus you don’t think you’ve ever seen on him before. A black garment bag lays across the arm of the sofa.

“Um… You want some help?” you ask.

He stands up tall and easily throws the roll of carpet over his shoulder. He smiles wide and walks to the entryway.

“Nope.”

You follow him out the front door and stop to enjoy the view. Best of the Worst never really captures how nice his ass is. _Such a shame._ He props the carpet roll on the side of his car and begins to lay the rear seats down to make room.

“Wait, what are you… are we going somewhere?”

“No questions, babe,” he says as he shoves the carpet into the back of his car.

“Okay. You’re right. Sorry.” You stand there quietly with your Morticia Addams dress in your hand. “Oh! Do you want me to get the long black wig for this?” you ask expectantly.

“That's a question, and no,” Jay replies curtly.

You have to admit, the control thing is pretty fucking hot on him. You take a moment to enjoy this side of Jay.

“O..okay,” you stammer. You try to think of a way to ask your next question without phrasing it like a question. “I’d like to know what I should do now," you manage. 

“Get in the passenger’s seat and stay there until I come back.”

“Alright,” you quickly reply.

“No, I like the ‘sir’ you used earlier. Do that from now on.” Jay looks you squarely in the eye as the closes the rear door.

A wave of heat runs over you.

“Umm.. Yes, sir.”

Jay walks past you back into his house without another word. You clutch your black dress tightly and move to open the passengers side door. By the time you’ve buckled yourself in, Jay is back out on his porch, making sure the door is locked with the garment back slung over his arm and makeup kit tackle box in hand.

He makes his way to the drivers side of the car and loads the kit and bag next to the carpet. He opens the door and sits in the driver's seat next to you. Jay puts on his sunglasses in silence before adjusting his rear-view mirror.

Jay turns the keys and the engine revs to life. He smiles as he plugs his iPhone into the auxiliary cable leading to his car stereo. His usual Spotify station begins to broadcast through the speakers. It's Talking Heads’ _This Must be the Place_ , because of course it is.

He grabs hold of the gear shift, but doesn't move. Jay pulls down his sunglasses enough to gaze into your eyes. He looks at you hopefully with a cocked eyebrow before he speaks.

“You said ‘total control,’ right? Even if it get a little dark?”

“You!? Your fantasies could be little dark?! I had no idea!” you joke. “Yeah, Jay. I trust you. I don't know where we’re going, but I trust you. As long as this doesn't wind up as a bonus feature on _Gorilla Interrupted 2_ or something.”

“No! I would never do that to you!” he insists. He takes his right hand and soothes it across the back of your neck with an encouraging smile. He places his hand on the back of your headrest and turns to look through his rear window. The car begins to move backward down his driveway as he continues his thought: “Sequels don't use numbers anymore, babe. It's gonna be _Gorilla Interrupted: The Reckoning_.”

“Aaaaaand now you’ve officially ruined the word ‘babe,’ babe.”

Jay taps the brakes as he laughs into his shoulder. He leans forward and kisses your mouth gently as his chuckling subsides. The bristles of his mustache scratch your delicate skin more than usual and you have to rub your lips to get rid on the itchy feel. He pulls away to look into the rear view mirror and push his glasses back up.

“The Polonia brothers ruined “babe” in _Feeders,"_  he declares through a toothy smile. He tries on a Pennsylvania accent: “I’m gunna go make me a porno with a hot babe!”

“Well if you keep up that accent, I might have to nail you in the car right now,” you laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, lady!” Jay says as he switches the car to drive and heads down the street.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

The ride so far has been pleasant and uneventful. Jay’s enthusiasm seems to build on the 10-minute trip. You’re a little nervous, but you try to keep on a positive face.

“I thought we would be making this at your house,” you chime in.

Jay immediately shakes his head in the negative, but keeps his eyes on the road. “No, no. There’s not enough space for a three-camera setup there.”

“ _Three_ cameras?!” You realize that’s another question, so you quickly switch to a declarative statement. “I mean…. three cameras... that’s more cameras than I would think you’d need.”  

“Nope!” Jay chirps with a smile. “Gotta have a wide shot and two tight shots locked down because we won’t have a crew.” His eyes start to wander up and to the right as he runs through the logistics of the filming in his mind. “Oh! And maybe a handheld. So possibly four,” Jay continues on excitedly.

Your eyes open wide at the new information. “That... is... umm…” you start. But he’s just so damn happy; you don’t want to ruin it. He seems to sense your apprehension.

“You are amazing for doing this for me,” Jay says as he reaches down to hold your hand. “The second you want to stop, just tell me.” His fingers slip between yours reassuringly.

“No, no. I'm fine. It's just a lot of angles to be naked in front of.”

“You look amazing from every angle.”

“Jay, I’ve already agreed to make a porno with you, flattery can’t get you much farther.”

He pulls your hand up to his mouth and gives your knuckles a light kiss.

“Well, we’ll just have to see,” he says slyly as he pulls to a stop in the Red Letter Media parking lot.

After piling out of the car, you grab Jay’s make up kit tackle box along with your black dress. He takes the garment bag and leaves the carpet in the car for now. He opens the front lock on the lock on the front door, flips on some of the lights in the entryway, and you both walk down the hallway to his office.

“You can get ready in here and I’ll go set up the studio,” Jay says as he lays his garment back across his desk. “I’ll put the tackle box in the bathroom for you; better lighting in there.” He starts to leave before you speak up.

“Sorry, Jay, but I have to ask: Is there something specific you want me to do with my makeup? Zombie... or murder victim…. or big, blue kitty-cat lady...?”

Jay’s eyes go wide. “YES! Being towered over by a Na’vi sex kitten! All my dreams!” He hunches over and laughs into his hand. “No. None of those. Thanks, though. I want just a pale face and red lips.”

“Okey dokey. Morticia Addams it is, then.”

Jay takes a moment to study your face quizzically before his eyebrows shoot up in recognition.  “Actually, yeah! Sure. That. Not so dark around the eyes, though,” he finally chimes. He bounds out of his office without another word. His black Converse shoes make a loud squeak against the linoleum floor of the hallway as he walks quickly towards the front door.

You stand silently in Jay’s office for a moment debating whether or not to look in his garment bag. He didn’t mention it at all, so it’s not like you’re breaking the rules if you sneak a peek. You reach across the surface of the bag to start work on the long zipper. You pull it down far enough to see the top of a crisp white collar before a loud noise rattles the side of Jay’s office.

“Hey! That’s not for you!” Jay yells from the hallway outside his open door. His serious demeanor wavers a bit. “Not yet, anyways,” he adds with a smile. He has the roll of carpet slung over his left shoulder and his bicep is clearly being flexed for your benefit. It’s damn distracting.

“Oh! Sure, sorry,” you reply after you’ve come back to your senses.

Jay gives you a sly grin. “What was that?”

“I’m sorry….. sir?”

“Good girl.” Jay exhales through his nose and wets his lips. He looks ready to devour you whole. Butterflies leap in your stomach. “I’ll be done with setup in 20 minutes. Put on the dress, get your makeup on, and head out to the studio.”

“Yes, sir.”

Yeah; dominance looks fucking amazing on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is that devious Jay up to? Do you have a guess about what he wants to play out?
> 
> Smut is on the way, I promise!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 


	4. Setting the Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get ready in Jay's office and head out to the studio to see the set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched an episode of Re:View where Jay said this about a song from _Fire Walk with Me_ called _The Pink Room_ : 
> 
> “It's so wonderful. I wish that was the soundtrack to my life. I wish I just walked around and whatever I was doing, that music was playing.” 
> 
> Well his wish is my fanfic command, so here's a chapter featuring Jay being ridiculously cool and sexy, all set to _The Pink Room._ It's a fucking great song. Maybe you should [*listen to it*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxlGtcW1Qg8) whilst reading. I know I listened to it damn near the whole time I wrote this. I added a link for you in the story if you want to time it perfectly.

You hear Jay secure the deadbolt on the front door before he makes his way back out to the studio. You breathe a little easier realizing that at least no one can walk in on you now. You turn to face the old _Dawn of the Dead_ poster above Jay’s desk.

“Oh, Romero, give me strength.”

You pop off your black sandals and tuck them next to the small couch in the corner. You pull off your black t-shirt and make easy work of taking off your jeans. You roll them into a tight bundle and set them on the couch near your shoes. It feels pretty odd being stripped down to your bra and panties in Jay’s office, especially considering that you’re all alone. Looking down at Jay’s remarkably sparse desk, you notice there’s only one piece of decor there; a solitary silver frame near his monitor. You tiptoe over to his desk in your unmentionables and take a closer look at the photo.

It’s of the two of you near when you started dating; a selfie taken the day he taught you the recipe for perfect fake blood. Both of you are drenched in the stuff, blood spattered across your smiling faces. You don’t think you’ve ever seen the photo before, and certainly not in a frame. In the image, your eyes are looking at the camera. Jay’s, however, are focused on you.

You take a moment to appreciate the sweetness of the photo. _Did he go to Target and buy this frame JUST for the picture? Did he agonize over finding the perfect finish? Did he have to go to a Walgreens to have it printed out?_ All of that terrible human interaction just to have a photo of you with him at work.

A new wave of confidence surges in your chest.

 _Let’s_ **_fucking_ ** _do this._

You bring the zipper down on your black dress and step into it, then pull the tight fabric up your bare thighs. You can’t wear a bra with low-cut back of the dress, so you quickly take yours off and sling-shot it onto Jay’s couch. Time is of the essence now.

You slip your arms through the long sleeves and zip up. The back of the dress only goes up to about six inches above your ass, so zipping it up by yourself isn't an issue. You kick away the long black fabric at the bottom of the dress and step back into your sandals.

It's a short walk down the hall to the unisex RLM bathroom. The guys set it up for makeup application a few years back with a huge mirror surrounded by two dozen round light bulbs. If it wasn’t six feet away from a urinal, it would actually make a really beautiful dressing room.

The makeup kit is set on the counter table; already open wide. You walk to the mirror and begin to rifle through the bits of stage makeup and tiny bottles of spirit gum. After finding the perfect shade of pale foundation, you apply it across your face with a small sponge. You pull the pale makeup down your neckline and then set it all with a large powder puff, being extra careful not to get too much on your dress. You line your eyes with a deep black pencil, taking care not to make them as dark and vampy as Morticia’s. The kit doesn’t include any proper lipstick, so you do your best to color your lips using a small brush and pot of red face paint. Jay never mentioned what you should do with your hair, so you leave it be.

You move away from the mirror to assess your work.

You’ve done an incredible job, especially considering your tools. The thin rim of black liner makes your eyes stand out beautifully against the pale tint of your skin. Your red lips display a perfect pout and bring out the natural blush of your cheeks. The deep V of your dress extends down to the middle of your chest; teasing just enough of your skin to be damn enticing.

“Not fucking bad,” you say to yourself.

Down the hall, you hear the studio door open as Jay returns to his office. You exit the restroom, take a right, and head down the hallway. You want to show off your hard work to Jay, so you try the handle to his office, but he’s already locked it. Maybe he’s getting into costume, too. You leave the handle be.

The narrow space of the hallway is lined with all sorts of memorabilia from movies like _Feeding Frenzy, Space Cop,_ and _Toxic Avenger._ A signed 8x10 photo of Jeffrey Combs is framed next to a set of RLM Garbage Pail Kids cards. Near the end of the hall, there’s a golden plaque from when Red Letter Media was voted Best Wedding Videography Service in Milwaukee. You smirk at the plaque, thinking about how strange it is that Jay and Mike had to wear ill-fitting suits to blend in and videotape strangers’ weddings. Jay has complained on more than one occasion about how much sappy country music he knows word-for-word thanks to his old wedding video business.

You push open the heavy studio door at the end of the hallway. The sound of the creaking door echos through the enormous and near pitch-black warehouse. Every overhead and set light is turned off except for the lights in the very far corner of the studio about thirty yards away. You move towards the lights like a moth to a flame, nervous and excited to see what Jay has staged for you there. You have to hold up your long Morticia dress to avoid getting the black train dirty as you walk past Mr. Plinkett’s house on your left and what’s left of The Nerd Crew headquarters on your right. You continue on past the Plinketto board before taking peek beyond the far wall of the Lightning Fast VCR Repair shop.

Tucked into the corner of the warehouse is the set from Re:View. And Best of the Worst. And the Star Trek Discovery reviews. Besides Rich, this set is the best workhorse in all of Red Letter Media. But something’s really different today: the movie poster marquee is missing. The walls of the set are still covered by red, velvety curtains, but Jay has placed five uplights along the bottom of the fabric, brightening them up considerably and casting a rich red glow up to the ceiling. Three cameras are already recording. One is focused dead-center, and the other two are aimed at 45 degree angles on either side of set.    

Jay has arranged the two leather chairs from Re:View next to each other on one side of the set, and pulled a matching leather love seat to sit on the other side. The chairs on the left side of the stage are arranged oddly; one chair facing forward, and one facing backward. To your right, a nude mannequin stands stoically behind the love seat. The mannequin’s hair has been pulled back into a bun and spray painted pure white to match the rest of her body. One arm is pointed down while the other reaches across her chest to cover her left breast. Near the back of the set is a thin, silver floor lamp. At its base sits the workshop’s paint-splattered Bose Bluetooth speaker.

It all seems strangely familiar, but you can’t quite recall where you’ve seen it before. That is, of course, until you look down. The carpet from Jay’s living room has been perfectly placed there; the black and white chevron pattern is a stark contrast from the red velvet of the curtains and the black leather of the furniture. 

As soon as the recognition hits you, you can't help but shout out loud: “Holy shit! He made the fucking Red Room!”

You pop off your black sandals and run onto the set to appreciate Jay’s work. It’s a pretty incredible rendition of the set from _T_ _ _w_ in Peaks. _Hopefully, Jay hasn’t stashed a little person in a red suit somewhere who can speak only in backwards-English. You lean over the love seat to check behind it - just in case.

_No one there. Good._

There is, however, a plastic Meijer’s grocery bag on the floor near the base of the mannequin. Before you can reach down to look inside, you hear the heavy scrape of the studio door opening on the other side of the warehouse.

You spin around to try and find Jay in the darkness. As you pull your hand up to shield your eyes from the bright set lights, the Bose speaker behind you [blares to life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxlGtcW1Qg8). A bluesy-rock guitar riff pours out, accompanied by the slow and steady clash of a high hat cymbal. The impossibly low sound of a stand-up bass being played with a bow reverberates against the aluminum walls of the warehouse.

It's _The Pink Room_.

You peer further into the dark while the moody music continues on behind you. As Jay walks towards the bright light of the set, more details come into focus. He's dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt, sauntering forward at his own, slow pace. The low drone of the bass continues to ooze out of the speaker, making the walls of the set vibrate.

Jay is finally twenty feet away and you can see every inch of him clearly. The black two-button suit fits him exquisitely; accentuating the broadness of his shoulders and tapering down to show off his narrow waist. The crisp white collar you caught just a glimpse of earlier is part of a flawlessly white shirt, just peeking out of the suit along his cuffs. He makes a small show of adjusting his thin black tie as he moves closer.

As he steps on set, there’s no question that the suit has been tailored for him. The sleeves of his jacket just barely contain his strong arms and end perfectly at his wrists. The suit pants ride low on his hips and hug his muscular thighs in a way that’s nearly pornographic. _Where the fuck has he been hiding this?!_

He stops a few feet from you and reaches his right hand to adjust the cuff link on his left sleeve. _Fucking cuff links?_ He cocks his head down to his wrists before looking back up at you with a raised eyebrow. This mother fucker knows how good he looks.

When you start to speak, you realize your mouth has been open for a nearly minute. You take a moment to wet your lips and clear your throat.

“You look fucking amazing, Jay.”

He smiles widely at your compliment, but says nothing. Instead, he unbuttons the front of his jacket and reaches into his left breast pocket. Slowly, he pulls out a pair of eight-inch long silver scissors. He slips his fingers into the handles and begins to open and close the blades in time with the hypnotic music. You can hear the sharp sound of metal shearing against metal in his hands as he holds the scissors out between your bodies. The smooth finish of the shears reflects a perfect slice of light across his face.  

He shifts his gaze from the shimmering blades up to your eyes.  

“Do you trust me?”

You answer without hesitation.

“Yes.”

Jay grips the scissors tightly and they shut close with a loud snip. He takes another two steps forward and snakes his hands around you. You feel the warmth of his skin and the cold metal of the scissors against the bare flesh of your back. His left hand roams up your spine to wrap delicately around the base of your neck. He pulls your face closer and meets your lips with his own.  

The sumptuous music continues on, directing Jay's pace as he deepens the kiss. You rest your right hand on his waist as he runs his thumb delicately across your cheek. His tongue rolls over yours and you relish the taste of him. The muscles of his strong arms flex as he pulls you closer. The pressure causes the scissors to dig sharply into your back. You arch your chest forward against Jay to avoid another jab. He pulls his mouth away from yours and instantly drops his right hand away from your back. His eyes go wide with shock as he searches your face for distress.

“Oh, shit! Fuck! I’m so sorry!”

You laugh at him lightly and shake your head; his concern is painfully sweet. You rest your hand on his against your neck and look into his nervous eyes. “You’re fine, Jay. If I got upset every time you jabbed me with something long and hard, we would of never have made it a whole year.”

He blurts out a laugh and smiles widely. The corners of his eyes wrinkle delightfully as he pulls your forehead to rest against his. “Still, sorry about the stabbing. Shit. Hurting you isn’t part of the plan.”

You move closer to him and nuzzle into his neck. You press forward and plant a kiss next to his ear. “Well maybe a little bit of pain is okay,” you whisper. "Sometimes I think I need some punishment... Sir." You feel his body shake as he exhales against you and pulls your hips closer to his. 

“Good to know,” Jay finally answers after a particularly loud drum section of the song ends. He pulls away just enough to plant a chaste kiss to your lips. He takes a step back and eyes you from head to toe. His nervous smile is gone, replaced by a confident smirk. He twirls the sharp end of the scissors against his opposite hand as he considers you. “It’s time to get you in costume.”

You shoot him a questioning look. _Aren’t I already in costume?_ But you keep quiet.

“Hit your mark,” Jay replies as he points the scissors down to a small tape x on the black and white carpet. He’s taped out several color-coded marks on the floor, but he’s currently pointing at the blue one next to the love seat.

“Yes, sir.”

You pick up the bottom of your dress and head to the blue “x” mark. When you’re in place, you turn around to face the cameras. The sultry song is still playing. It’s hard to know if the song is on repeat or if he’s just selected a longer version. Jay has tucked the scissors away, moved to the far stage right camera and is now observing you through the viewfinder. You drop the bottom of the long dress and kick out the black tendrils so they pool out around your feet evenly. Jay does a final check on the remaining two cameras before returning to you on set.

He extends his left hand out and you place your hand in his. Jay runs his thumb across your knuckles reassuringly and pulls the back of your hand to his mouth. His mustache tickles as it ghosts across your skin. Jay keeps hold of your hand as he reaches back into his breast pocket and pulls out the silver scissors. You feel the cold steel glide against your skin as Jay positions the scissors under your sleeve. He looks deeply into your eyes.

“You are needed,” Jay says simply.

He slices a two inch cut into your sleeve next to the seam and lets go of your hand. The music seems to intensify. He grabs a fist full of the black fabric before he looks back up into your eyes. His expression doesn’t change as he rips the cloth away from your dress. All of the black fringe from your sleeve is gone in an instant, leaving only a tattered edge. Jay moves to your other hand and grabs it gently.

“You are wanted,” he remarks sincerely.

His eyes are calm and determined; not hint of malice or anger to be found. A bluesy guitar riff plays as he slices up your other sleeve and tears it away just like the first. He throws the ragged cloth behind the two leather chairs.

Jay drops to his knees in front of you and uses the large shears to cut a line in your long dress from the floor up to your ankle. He looks up to you like a man at worship.

“You are special,” Jay adds before ripping hard against your skirt.

He tears the fabric away with three harsh pulls, all in time with a clashing cymbal of the song. Jay throws the fabric onto the love seat and looks back up to you.

“You are a treasure.”

Jay lines up his scissors next to the side seam of your dress and slowly draws them up to your knee. The blades are so sharp that he doesn’t have to move the handles. He slices up the skirt further, past your knee and far up your thigh. The music must be louder now; you’re consumed by the sound of it and the feel of cold metal against your skin.

The scissors only stop when they reach your hip. Jay sets them gently on the carpet before wrapping his hand around the newly-exposed skin on the back of your calf. You hear him moan quietly as his hands venture farther up, kneading the back of your leg as he leans towards you. His right hand gently pushes the front of your skirt away to expose your thigh all the way up. You feel the driving bass of the music reverberate through your body. 

Jay peppers two soft kisses on your thigh before moving towards your center. He licks and sucks deeply on your thigh as the fingers of his left hand dig into the soft flesh just under your ass. His right hand moves under your dress and up to your panties. Jay moves his face away to watch himself push the cotton fabric aside and draw his fingers along the lips of your wet pussy. You bite your bottom lip as you watch him work. He parts you open and flicks the tip of his tongue across your clit. Your body shakes at the sensation as the music continues on.

Jay lets go of your panties and stands up in front of you. Your body is warm and ready for whatever he has planned. He cocks his head to the side as he gazes at you and tastes the wetness of your cunt on his fingers. You can hear him moan as he licks them both clean. Jay pulls his hand away and straightens his posture. He reaches into his right breast pocket and removes his phone. With one touch, the music stops, and he tucks the phone away.

He looks painfully sexy as he runs his hands through his hair, adjusts his thin black tie, and finally speaks.

“Laura?” Jay asks.

You smile at him lovingly before you reply.

“Yes, Agent Cooper?”

"Let's begin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “This warm feeling of being needed, wanted, and special, like I was a treasure... was all I wanted to feel, forever.” - The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer.  
>   
> ___________________________________________
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter! Did you guess that he'd go for a Twin Peaks porno?  
> Sorry there isn't as much explicit smut in this one, I'm saving that for the next chapter. :) Thank you all for your kudos and for the lovely comments and questions I get on my [Tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/). Please feel free to drop me a line! I'd love your feedback!


	5. The Good, the Bad, and the Sticky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You both take a few more steps into character.

Jay shifts his weight to his back leg and pulls his suit jacket back just enough to put his hand in his pocket; bringing his sexiness from a 9.5 to a 10… possibly higher. You notice his white shirt has also been tailored and clings perfectly to his chest and waist. The silver buckle on his black leather belt pulls your eyes lower. You’d like nothing more than to rip off that belt like he tore your dress and get your mouth around him.

He seems to notice you’re distracted.

“Babe?” he chimes.

“Yep!” you answer a little too quickly and pop your eyes back up to his. You try to act natural; no one is buying it.

He chuckles lightly and pulls his right hand up to smooth down the edges of his beard. “You like it that much?” he says with a cocky grin.

You curl up your lip and make a snarky face back at him. “You fucking know you look fucking incredible, you fucking dick.”

Jay lurches forward and blurts out a loud belly laugh. Both of his hands shoot up to his face to hide his smiling mouth. The cute wrinkles around his eyes make a welcome appearance as he chuckles. Eventually, he’s able to stifle his laughter and he stands up straight in front of you.

“Well.. thanks? I guess?” He flashes you a toothy smile and looks down to play with his tie. “It’s actually from my brother’s wedding, but I only wore it for the one day.” He puts a hand back in his pocket and smooths down the front of his shirt. “I didn’t know when I’d ever wear it again.”

“To star in a Twin Peaks porno, obviously!”

“Right, well the answer is obvious NOW, sure,” Jay adds with a grin.

“It’s perfect, Jay.”

Jay’s cheeks flash to a bright pink before his eyebrows shoot up. “Hey! So, speaking of perfect: You know I love your real hair, but if you wanted to get more into costume, I _do_ have a blonde Laura Palmer-style wig if you’d want to wear it. You don’t hav...”

Your eyes go wide with excitement. “Are you serious!? Fuck yes, I want the wig! I’m not half-assing this sex tape, Jay!”

Jay’s face positively beams. He quickly walks behind the love seat and picks up the Meijer’s bag. He pulls out a golden blonde wig and wig cap and hands them to you over the love seat. He picks out a few loose hair pins from the bottom of the bag and sticks a dozen extras in his mouth. He pats the back of the love seat invitingly and you take your place on the small couch in front of him.

Jay takes a moment to run his fingers through your hair and plants a small kiss on forehead. You roll your head back to give him a better angle. He begins to gather your hair into small sections and pins them down close to your scalp. You look up to him, his face now upside-down and scrunched up in concentration.

“It pretty cool that you know how to do this,” you tell him.

“I am a man of many talents, babe,” he says through the side of his mouth as he pins the longest pieces of hair away from your face.

“How many talents is that?” you tease.

“At _least_  five. Maybe more,” Jay laughs.

“Daaaaaaaamn!”

After two more pins have been placed in your hair, you pull the beige wig cap down to your ears and tuck in the last few loose stands. You fluff out the blonde wig and line up the bangs to the front of your face. Jay pulls the wig down and makes quick work of pinning it in place at the back of your neck. He has two pins in before you speak up again.

“You know, I always had you pegged as more of an Audrey man. I thought guys liked bad girls.”

“I’m not saying I’m NOT an Audrey man,” he replies thoughtfully. He pulls another pin from his mouth and uses it to secure the wig near your right ear. He looks away; eyes unfocused and eyebrows furrowed in thought. “But there was just always _something_ about Laura Palmer, you know? The good girl turned bad.”

You cross your legs elegantly and pull the fabric of your skirt away to look more the part. Hopefully, the dress and wig combined will give you a passing resemblance to Laura. “No judgement from me, Jay. I’m just glad you didn’t make me dress up like the log lady.”

He pulls the remaining hair pins out of his mouth and puts them back into the plastic bag. “Well I don’t want to cum IMMEDIATELY, so no, I couldn’t dress you up like Log Lady,” Jay jokes as he makes his way off of the set and tosses the grocery bag near one of the camera tripods.

You do your best to quickly space out your early-90’s-style blonde bangs and arrange your hair out around your shoulders. You wrack your brain trying to remember the weird pose Laura did in the Red Room. Taking a guess, you bring your left arm up, bent at the elbow, with your fingers pointing toward the ceiling. You set your right hand just under your left with the palm facing up. That seems right. Right?

Jay makes his way back to the set and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of you. Your black dress may not be a perfect match for Laura’s, but it seems to be doing the trick. He runs his eyes from your feet up the line of bare flesh on your leg and up to your serene face.

“Hello Agent Cooper.”

Even 10 feet away, you can clearly see his Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulps.

You extend your arm straight out to him, point two fingers down to the ground and snap. Jay moves to sit on the leather chair closest to you and places both of his arms out on the arm rests. He never takes his eyes of you.

“Are you Laura Palmer?” he asks with a twinkle in his eye.

“I feel like I know her,” you reply softly. “But sometimes my arms bend back.”

His eyebrows perk up in recognition. A wide, toothy smile forms across Jay's face; clearly thrilled to see you know a few lines of Laura's from the show. It's painfully cute, but you didn’t exactly come here for cute.

You slowly stand up and slink your way over to Jay’s chair. The pads of your fingers barely graze the side of his neck as you lean down to his face. Jay cranes his head up to meet you and presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss. You ease away from his face with a smile. You cup your hand around Jay’s ear and lean down to whisper:

“You know, no one has ever said what Laura whispers to Cooper here; it’s still a secret.” You move closer into the crook of his neck and trace the side of his face with your lips. “I’ll let you in on my secret, though.”

You run your tongue along the edge of his ear before gently nibbling his earlobe. “I want you to fuck me… in every way you've ever dreamed of… right here, in front of these cameras.” You can feel his body shiver under your hands. You kiss the side of his neck, sucking gently and purring with anticipation.

Jay inhales deeply to calm himself before stands and flattens his tie down against his waist. He points to the orange X on the floor about three feet in front of him and looks back at you intently. “Be a good girl and get down on your knees, Laura.”

You obey his instructions and move immediately to the orange X on the black and white carpet. You pull your dress out of the way and get down on your bare knees in front of him.

Jay stays in place, waiting patiently as you to get into position. He strolls forward; stopping just short of your face before unzipping his dress pants. He pulls his hardening cock out through the front of his boxer briefs and through his open fly. Your mouth waters and you lean forward to take hold of him.

“No,” Jay commands.

You look up at him with confusion.

“You want this fucking cock?” Jay asks as he strokes himself just inches in front of your face.

You quickly nod your head. “Ye..yes, sir.”

Jay continues to pump his cock steadily; a small bead of precum forming at the tip. You lick your lips at the sight of it. Jay’s eyes flash darkly before he responds.

“Then beg for it.”

Your eyes narrow and you smile up at Jay. _So that’s how this is going to be._ You know you want to suck his cock just as much as he wants it sucked. But he’s so beautiful like this, so strong and confident in that fucking suit, beating his thick manhood just out of your reach. It's time to play. 

“I want your cock in my mouth. Please," you say with a pout.

Jay is unmoved.

"Please! I want to taste you."

Nothing.

"Please fuck my mouth and cum down my throat,” you plead. Jay’s eyes peer down to your lips while his hands keep up the steady pace up and down his length, but he still doesn’t move to you.

 _Shit_. You scramble to think of what he wants you to say. “I…. I… I’ll do whatever you want. Please! I need your fucking cock in me right now, please!.” The desperation in your voice is a surprise even to you. _What the hell does he want!?_

Then it hits you. You look up to Jay with pleading doe eyes: “I promise I’ll be good.”

Jay releases his cock and it bounces freely in front of your salivating mouth. You could easily lean forward and taste him, but you want to be good. You stay on your knees, hands at your sides, ready and willing to take whatever he offers.

“Suck it.”

You reach up and hold onto his hips reverently before running your tongue along his shaft from base to tip. You pay special attention to the head of his cock, gingerly licking the bead of cum away. You moan in pleasure at the salty taste of his seed before peering back up to him through the blonde bangs of your wig. “Thank you, sir.”

You wrap your hand firmly at the base of his dick and ease him into your mouth. His delicate skin is warm and smooth as he slides against your tongue. You suck his length eagerly, humming against his sensitive flesh. You start a determined rhythm; running the O of your mouth from the head of his cock down as far as you can go without choking, and using your hand to stroke the rest of him. He exhales loudly as he bottoms out against the back of your mouth.

You know you can make him cum just from this; you’ve done it many times before. But right now, in front of these cameras, you want to blow his mind. You pull your second hand up and make a small ring with your index finger and thumb, adding it to the pumping action of your dominant hand. You swirl your wet tongue around and around the head of his cock as both of your hands stroke him.

You feel his body shiver as his hips buck into you. His eyes close tightly and he bares his teeth at the intensity of the stimulation. You can see his chest heaving as he pants, beads of sweat glistening at his temples, but his arms remain firmly at his sides. His hands are balled into tight fists, turning his knuckles to a stark white. It must be killing him to hold back like this.

You pull away from his cock with a wet pop, a string of drool running from your mouth to the tip of his dick. You run your slick hands across his spit-drenched shaft and pump against him.

“Jay?” you whisper. Hopefully the mics wont pick up on it. He looks down into your eyes; his mouth open wide as he pants. You speak up a bit: “Please don’t hold back. I’ll be good. I can take it all; I want to.”

Jay nods almost imperceptibly and he finally reaches down to grip the sides of your blonde wig. You pull your hand away from his impossibly hard dick and reach your hands around the back of his thighs. You wrap your lips around his cock as he slowly pulls your head forward.

“That feels fucking amazing,” Jay growls. “You’re taking me so well.” He increases his pace, pumping more aggressively into your mouth. “You need to know that you’re all mine. _Fuuuck._  Do you want that? Do you want to see my cum dripping down between those beautiful fucking tits?”

You moan enticingly in reply; your lips stretched tightly around his smooth shaft. Jay guides your head while he plunges his cock into your mouth over and over again.

“You're being so good. Oh god,” he pants. “You're going to look so fucking sexy covered in my cum.” He’s losing his control and the rhythm of his thrusts becomes erratic. He pounds your mouth deeply enough to make you gag, but you don't. Instead, you find you can take him deeper every time. You dig your fingers into the back of his thighs and pull Jay's hips forward, forcing him further into your mouth than he’s ever been.

“HOLY FUCK!!” he roars. “I'm going to cum.”

The sensation of his cock hitting the back of your throat and the exquisite sounds of his panting are like music. Should you draw this out longer? Or end his sweet suffering now? You want his cum in your mouth; want to taste every bit of it on your tongue. You’ve earned it. Jay's body tenses and he loosens his grip on your wig.

“Fuck. I want to cum on your fucking tits,” he hisses from between his teeth. He's on the edge now, begging for his perfectly planned release, but you have other ideas. You grab onto his ass tightly and force him even further down into your throat. Your nose presses against the cold metal of his belt buckle and he absolutely shatters.

“FUUUUUUUCK!” His growl shakes the walls of the set. His thick cock pulses against your tongue as his cum surges down your throat. He's gasping for breath between each wave of pleasure that crashes over him. You keep your mouth wrapped around his dick, but pull away just enough to get your hand around him and milk him for every last drop. You finally get a taste of his seed and Jay nearly falls forward with the intensity of his continuing orgasm.

“Oh god! Fuck!” Jay pleads as the very last of his cum spurts onto your tongue. You hum with delight and his whole body shakes. He has to put his hand on your shoulder to stay standing. Finally, you release your grip on his cock and let him ease slowly out of your mouth. He huffs loudly before he regains his footing.

Suddenly, Jay pulls your head back with a stern tug of your wig. You look up at him with a defiant smile, pursing out your swollen lips. He’s still out of breath and panting desperately. Jay’s cheeks are a beautiful shade of red beneath his neatly-trimmed beard. His softening cock is just inches away from your face.

“What did I fucking say?” His mouth is dry and his voice ragged. He jerks your head back even further and wets his lips. Your face is now pointing nearly straight up at the ceiling, your hands hanging limply at your sides. “Are you THAT fucking thirsty?! I told you I wanted to see it  all over you!”

You give Jay a small smile before opening your mouth; still filled with his cum. He eases his hold on your blonde wig and you lean your head forward. Your saliva and his white release drips off your tongue and spatters against your bare chest. You pull the the deep V of your black dress open wider and press your breasts together. You look back up to Jay, his mouth open wide and his eyes focused intently on your chest, completely fascinated by the mixture of spit and semen now pooling at the top of your rounded breasts. As you slowly release your hands, Jay watches his cum drip freely down to your stomach.

Finally, he looks back up to your face. A rope of his warm cum still clings to the bottom lip of your open mouth. You take your right index finger and swipe it across your lip, gathering up all you can. Jay watches you twirl your tongue around your finger; moaning softly at you enjoy the salty taste of him.

He blinks three times in quick succession, looking utterly gobsmacked with his mouth wide open. His voice barely registers above a whisper. “Jeeeeeeesus, that’s fucking hot.”

You can’t help a smile at his honest reaction.

Jay quickly gets back into character. He stands up straight and tucks his cock back into his boxer briefs. He looks down at you while he runs his hands through the sweaty hair near his temples. 

“That’s not what I told you to do.” He straightens his tie and buttons his jacket closed. “You have to learn that what you want and what I need are two different things, Laura.”

Jay reaches out a hand and helps you up off your knees. The cum and spit running down your chest is cooling rapidly and sensation makes your nipples stick up taut against the dress. Jay licks his lips at the sight, but keeps focused on the next act on his porno wish list.

He walks you to the opposite side of the set and points at the love seat. You turn around and sit up squarely on the small couch, prim and proper, and cross your feet at the ankles. You look up to see Jay shaking his head disapprovingly. His hand goes out and he runs his fingers delicately along your cheek.

“Tsk tsk tsk, Laura. Not like that. That’s how good girls sit,” Jay explains. His thumb and forefinger gently grab your wet chin and he forces your face up to look at him. He towers above you like this, his head eclipsing the set lights, making his hair glow in a beautiful blonde halo around his face. His green eyes look pitch black as he peers down his sharp nose at you.

“You’ve been bad, Laura. If you’re going to act like a bad girl, I’ll treat you like one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  
> 
> Thank you again to my wonderful readers! Your comments and questions have been _so_ encouraging. I hope you stick along with me on this trash train: It's just going to get smuttier from here on out! 
> 
> What do you think so far? Too dark? Not dark enough? Would you also like to be glazed like a jelly donut by Jay Bauman.? (I know I would.) Let me know!
> 
> As always, feel free to contact me on my [tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/). I'd love to hear from you!


	6. Do You Even Want to be Good?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay has a simple punishment for you: Count to ten. 
> 
> Surely you can stay focused enough to count to ten?
> 
> We'll see.

Jay leans down and gives you a small kiss on the crown of your forehead. He rolls his thumb over your cum-covered chin lovingly before he slips it between your lips. You immediately wrap your mouth around his warm flesh and suck gently. Your tongue rolls wantonly around the tip of his thumb as his dark eyes burn into yours.

“Up on all fours,” Jay says simply as he pulls his thumb away.

He turns from you and heads towards the camera on the far right of the set. You sit up enough to get your knees under you and bend over to place your hands on the right arm rest of the love seat. You have to wiggle a bit to get your dress to behave, but eventually you are up on your knees. You’re facing the red curtain at the back of the set with your butt pointed towards the stage left camera. The tiny couch is so short that your feet actually stick out under the other arm rest and dangle off the edge of the seat.

Jay has apparently framed you up with the stage right camera and is currently peering at you through the viewfinder of the center cam.

“Get that ass up higher, Laura,” Jay shouts from behind the camera. You can hear his wide smile in his voice. _Dick_. 

You try to bend your back down and push your butt up, but it’s not particularly graceful. You arch your back as best you can and hope that somehow gets your ass into the correct position.

Jay chuckles once softly before pulling his head away from the camera. He walks onto the edge of set and takes a moment to examine your pose. He reaches up to his face and and scratches his nails across his trimmed beard. Something clicks in his mind and he quickly jaunts over to you on the couch. He pats the top of your hands on the arm rest and then points to the seat like he's training a puppy.

“Grab the edge down here,” Jay instructs. You obey immediately.

The new position puts your back flat and parallel to the love seat cushion. You keep your head facing down as the blonde wig falls across your face and and starts to stick to the cum and spit lingering on your chin. Jay brushes the blonde hair back on to your shoulder and leans down to whisper in your ear:

“It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.”

You smile at the great Agent Cooper line. _He would._ You pull your head up to face straight forward and roll your shoulders down. Your back starts to arch as you push chest forward. Jay sighs appreciatively as he runs his right hand from your newly-exposed neck down your bare back and around the curve of your ass. He gives your butt a small squeeze through the black fabric of your skirt before moving up to the center of your back.

He brings his left hand up to your stomach and uses both hands to dip your waist down further. Your hips rotate down in response; rounding your rear and bringing it from sexy to sublime. At least that's what Jay’s deep groan suggests.

“You have no fucking idea what you do to me,” Jays breathes as he steps back to evaluate you.

You smile proudly and look back over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of his face.

“Uh uh uh,” Jay chides softly. He points to the crimson curtain at the back of the set as his hand kneads the flesh of your ass and bunches up your skirt. “Your eyes face forward until I say otherwise.”

You nod your head curtly and turn to face the red fabric.

Jay’s left hand slips through the high slit of your black dress and runs across the side of your panties. You close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of his warm fingers ghosting along your skin. He grabs the tattered skirt with his right hand and gently throws it aside, fully exposing your legs and ass.

Jay laces his fingers around the sides of your underwear and pulls them over the rounded mound of your behind. You feel his hot breath against your hip as he brings them down your thighs. The cotton fabric comes to rest on the seat cushion across the crook of your knees. You're completely naked from the waist down now; posed like a prized show animal. You _should_ be ashamed, right? But try as you might, you’re not. The wetness gathering at your cunt becomes quite apparent as your flesh is exposed to the cool air of the studio.

Jay smooths his palm up the back of your legs and stops near the apex of your thighs before pulling his hand away. He takes a step towards your feet and turns to get a full view of your backside. You feel his index finger glide along the slit of your pussy from front to back. Jay sighs wistfully before easing his finger past your outer lips. He teases your entrance gently, coating his finger in your slick. You close your eyes and enjoy his touch.

“Why didn’t you listen to me?” Jay purrs.

“I thought you would like…” you start. His finger is suddenly gone.

**SLAP!**

Jay’s hand comes down swiftly on your ass. The sound echoes through the warehouse. Your body jolts forward and you gasp in shock.

“You don’t seem to understand the question, Laura,” Jay says sternly.

Your ass is still stinging from the first hit when Jay slaps it again. You wonder what he’s really asking. You almost look back at him, but you catch yourself. “What do you mea…?”

**SLAP!**

“Why didn’t you listen to me?” Jay asks again before his hand lands sharply against you.

You feel heat rising across the flesh of your backside. A pink welt with a rough resemblance to Jay’s hand is developing on your right cheek. Jay pulls back for another slap.

“Because I didn’t want to!” you yell.

Jay’s hand comes down feather light this time. He palms the top of your ass and runs his thumb in a small circle over your rapidly-warming skin.

“That’s right. Because you didn’t want to. You thought you knew better than me, didn’t you?”

You feel a tinge of guilt hearing Jay’s words. This _was_ supposed to be a present for him and you said you were going to do whatever he said without question. What can you do to make it up to him? You resolve to do exactly as your told from now on out. Jay’s fingers begin to press deeply into your skin.

“You’re mine," Jay says with a growl. "You need to do as I say.”

Jay leans down and plants an open kiss on the top of your pert ass. Your sensitive skin can feel his mustache bristle against you as his mouth opens further. His bottom teeth scrape over your backside before he bites down firmly. Your clit throbs almost painfully in response. He’s biting into your ass like it’s a fucking apple and it feels incredible. After two more wet mouthfuls, Jay pulls away and blows softly against the trail of spit he’s left on your pink flesh. Your head swims and you shiver from the juxtaposed sensations of hot and cold on your skin.

Jay stands up straight and collects himself.

“Look at me.”

You turn your head to see Jay’s green eyes boring into yours. He crosses his arms high on his chest and speaks to you slowly; as though he’s scolding a child.

“You were a Very… Bad… Girl.”

The words might be cliche, but they’re also _really_ fucking hot. A rush of heat washes over your body and pools in your center. Your fingers tighten around the edge of the cushion and the leather fabric creaks and groans under the pressure. Jay raises an eyebrow as he watches your knuckles go white. He shifts his gaze back to your face.

“Do you even _want_ to be good?” Jay looks authentically interested in your answer.

This is it. This is how you make it up to him. You will be good. You’ll do everything he says. You’ll show him how well you can behave.

“Yes. I want to be good. For you.”

Jay smiles softly; making the edges of his mustache stick straight out like cat whiskers.

“I’m so glad to hear that, Laura,” Jay says happily as he uncrosses his arms and starts to work on the button of his suit jacket. “So glad.”

He pulls open the front of his jacket and shrugs it off of his shoulders. Jay walks confidently to the other side of the set and throws the black jacket over the back of the far chair. He removes his silver cuff links one at a time and places them in an front suit pocket. Jay turns his body to face you as he rolls up the white cotton fabric of his left sleeve. His feet are planted shoulder-width apart, showing off the perfect silhouette off his narrow waist and strong legs. The muscles in his forearms ripple as he deftly curls up his sleeves.

“I know you were trying to make me happy, sweet girl; trying to please me. Your heart seems to be in the right place.”

You smile in response. He knows you weren’t trying to be bad.

Jay’s strong forearms look especially sexy with his white shirt cuffed up to his elbows. He rests a hand on his hip as the other runs through his short hair like he’s James Dean.

“But if I don’t punish you, you won’t learn,” Jay says with a sympathetic shrug.

He’s right, you think. You nod your head in the affirmative. Whatever he wants. Maybe you do need to learn. And if spanking is how Jay plans on teaching you, all the better.

Jay walks to the stage left camera and picks it up by the top handle. “Eyes forward,” he reminds you without even a glance in your direction. He sets the camera and tripod down three feet away from your naked backside and angles the lens down. The camera feels close enough to be inside of you.

Jay locks the camera down and walks to stand behind the love seat near the white mannequin. You’re being filmed from all angles. The far right camera capturing your face and chest, the center camera filming your entire body from a distance, and the far left camera focused intently on every inch of your ass and pussy. _Ummm_. That’s a lot of you. But that’s good, right? It’s good that he wants to see so much of you. Right?

Jay reaches over the back of the love seat and grabs onto your behind firmly; one cheek in each of his hands. He massages your bare ass and sighs softly.

“You’re distracted,” Jay declares. You bite down your bottom lip; you really are. “You can’t learn if you’re distracted. Let’s see if I can get you to focus.”

He splays his right hand out across the small of your back. “It's very simple - you need to be spanked. But just 10 times," he explains. "But you have to count them out for me. Do you understand?”

“Yes," You reply. 

"What was that?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's a good girl." Jay’s left hand comes down sharply on your ass. You’re rocked forward by the force. “Oo...one,” you count.

“So good,” Jay remarks. His hand slaps your ass again and you moan before managing to get out “two.” Your body pitches towards the armrest with each strike. He spanks you a third time and you feel your clit start to throb.  “Three,” you pant.

“Perfect,” Jay purrs. You stick your ass out a bit further and await the next blow with a wicked anticipation.

Instead, Jay’s thick fingers ease into your wet pussy from behind. You hear a deep growl in his chest as he plunges both digits knuckle deep inside of you. Your arms nearly give out as your back arches against him. He starts a slow rhythm, leaning back to watch the walls of your cunt hug against him when he pulls his fingers out of you. He scissors them together, stretching you open deliciously as he increases his pace. 

The set is filled with the obscene sounds of Jay’s fingers pumping into your slick cunt. His index finger roams further down and circles your aching clit. The intensity makes your toes curl as your face drops downwards.

**SLAP!**

Jay’s hand is gone and the perfect pressure on your clit has been replaced by a sharp sting on your ass.  _The fuck?!_  

“Eyes forward,” Jay chastises. You move quickly to properly face the red curtain again.

“How many, Laura?”

Shit. Shit! Shit!! What are we on?

“Three?” You guess. That’s the last number you said, right?

**SLAP!**

“No. You’re not paying attention. How many? If you get it wrong, we’ll have to start over again.”

You know three was the last number you said out loud. Oh! And then one for not keeping your head up.

“Fo…”

_Then one for guessing the wrong number!_

“FIVE! Five, sir,” you answer.

“That’s a good girl,” Jay praises. You smile proudly knowing you’ve pleased him. “We’re halfway there,” he adds as he steps towards your feet.

Jay grabs onto the left armrest of the love seat and lowers himself onto his knees behind you. You stay perfectly still as he parts your wet pussy wide open with both hands. Without a word, Jay licks a thick stripe from your tender clit to your entrance. The feeling sends shockwaves up your spine. You try to keep back a moan and stay perfectly still.

The tip of Jay’s tongue flicks at your sensitive bud as he hums against you. He laps at your open pussy like a man starved, sucking intermittently on your swollen clit. When the intensity of the pleasure is almost too much, his tongue plunges inside of you. Jay sucks at your entrance as he fucks you with his tongue. You don’t even try to keep back the moaning now.

"Fuck! Fuck, that feels fucking amazing!"

Jay keeps his mouth on you as he slaps your ass twice in quick succession. Shit, maybe three times. He pulls away long enough to tell you, “Count!” before returning to drinking in more of your slippery pussy.

“Holy fuck… uhm…seven?” Jay nibbles your clit and you jump forward. “FUCK! I mean eight.” Jay hums affirmatively against you and runs his tongue along the full length of your cunt. He pulls away and leans back on his heels. Your body shudders at the loss of his touch. The ache is fucking painful. You want to look back, but that would be breaking the rules. He stands up tall and returns to his place behind the love seat. You feel the mixture of your slick and Jay’s spit dripping off your pussy and running down your thigh.

Jay runs the moist fingertips of his left hand from your tender ass up to the base of your neck.

“How many more do you need?” he asks.

You do the math and quickly respond: “Two.”

Jay nods silently in agreement before grabbing a handful of your blonde wig and pulling your head back. Your face is forced up toward the ceiling as Jay steps into your field of view. Your juices on his mouth and beard glint under the set lights. He exhales loudly through his nose.

“And how many more do you _want_?” Jay asks darkly as he peers down at you.

You blink several times; taken back by the question. _Think!_

“As many more as you’ll give me,” you answer confidently. Then you remember your manners and add: “Please.”

Jay’s mouth opens wide as he considers your response. A sly smile appears across this face. “That’s a damn good answer.”

His chest rises and falls twice before he leans toward you across the back of the love seat and overtakes your mouth with a hot kiss. His left hand still holds your head back by the wig while his right reaches down to cup your face. He deepens the kiss, panting into your mouth as your tongues circle one another. His face is covered in your slick; the salty taste making you want more.

His thumb swipes down your chin, gathering the remnants of his cum from your wet skin. Gently, he pulls your bottom lip open and you lick the length of him. His skin takes like spit and cum and pussy and it's somehow the most delicious fucking thing in the world. You suck at his flesh greedily, savoring every last bit. His left hand lets go of your wig, but you keep your head in the exact same place, taking his thumb deeper into your mouth.

Jay’s pulls his hand away and uses his fingers to roam further down your neck; smearing his cum and your spit across your chest. You open your mouth again and he slips the two digits across your tongue. His teeth bite down into his own lip as he feeds his cum to you. You start to salivate more as his fingers near the top of your throat. 

**SLAP!** Jay manages to keep his fingers in your mouth while his left hand smacks the top of your ass. You open your mouth just enough to pant “nine” and immediately return to your work. Jay gives an impressed huff before pulling his fingers away.

His sopping wet right hand moves even further down your chest. Jay forces his cum-covered fingers under the front of your dress and runs them across the top of your breast. The spit helps his calloused hand glide smoothly across your skin. He pinches your nipple firmly, rolling it exquisitely between two wet fingers. Your slick nipple pops out of his grip only to be gathered up and teased again. Your head moves forward, but you keep facing the red curtain. Your eyes shut tight as you try not to be overwhelmed by the intense pleasure. A thick string of drool pours out of your whimpering mouth and lands on the leather cushion between your hands..

Jay’s fingers return to your lips, drenched in spit and cum. He pulls his face a few inches away and you gaze up at him expectantly. You open your mouth in anticipation; you'll suck him clean all over again. Your eyes go wide as instead you watch Jay's pink tongue dart out of his mouth to lick the milky white mixture off of his fingers. He never looks away as he draws three digits into his mouth and sucks loudly. He pulls his fingers out with a wet pop before he finally places them into to your lips. He plunges the three fingers into your mouth. The squelching sound of his plunging digits is intoxicating. You wish it was his cock again. 

**SLAP!**

You hum around him happily. You bring your head back further and look into his eyes. Jay pulls his fingers out of your mouth, drenched in sticky spit. You smile at up him before running your tongue across the lips of your open mouth.

“Ten," you pant as you try to catch your breath. "Sir."   

Jay peers down at you, his eyes hooded with desire. A crooked smile forms across his face as he walks to the other side of the love seat to face you. Your bare ass his now bright red from his spanking, your pussy wet and dripping for the camera, but you’re still up on all fours; still facing the red curtain as you were told to.

He hunkers down; sitting on his ankles with his elbows on his knees. “Hey,” he says softly. You turn your head to see him smiling at you. “Look at you; being _so good_ for me,” Jay says proudly. “I’m so pleased with your progress, sweet girl. You’re focused now.”

You’re positively incandescent; pride swells in your chest. You did well! You've made him proud! You were good!

Jay stands up in front of you and grips the silver buckle of his pants. _Yes!_  Your eyes pan down to watch him unfasten the leather belt and pull it away from his body through each belt loop. Rather than tossing the belt aside, he folds it in half and wraps his left hand around the buckle and end. Your head tilts as you look at him with confusion. He grabs the other end of the folded belt and brings his clenched fists together; making the belt pucker out into the shape of an open mouth. He quickly tugs his hands apart and the two pieces of black leather clap together with a deafening crack. He slaps the black belt together twice more, each snap harder and louder than the last. He opens the belt again and peers at you through the opening.

“That means we can finally start the lesson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait!? He's just STARTING the lesson? Well fuck!
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed the uptick in kink. More is on the way!
> 
> Are you looking forward to anything in particular? (I for one am dying to see what he does with that tie.)
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I absolutely love hearing from readers! Leave a comment here or reach out to me on my [tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/). Lots of fun Jay stuff there, too.  
>   
> 


	7. Too Much of a Good Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets a little power hungry channeling his inner Agent Cooper. It looks damn good on him.

Your eyes go wide as he slaps the belt close again. You can help but flinch, worried about how much more your tender ass can take.  

“Are you ready?” He asks. His voice is calm and reassuring; the belt - not so much.

You purse your lips in consideration, wondering if you’ll have to use your safe word soon. The spanking was actually quite nice. Well...more than just nice, honestly. Might have to add that into the regular rotation. But he is _really_ making that belt crack now. Still, you know Jay would stop the second he thought he was really hurting you. And leather might be really fun. You blow out hard before voicing your answer.

“Yeeah. I think so. I mean, yes. Yes, sir.”

“That’s my sweet girl,” he smiles widely before dropping the belt to rest in his left hand. “Stand up for me.”

You pull your closer foot back through the armrest of the love seat and step on to the carpet below you. You manage to get the other foot down as you stand up. Your skirt unfurls back down your legs as your very wet panties fall from your knees to the floor.

“Those are mine now,” he states matter-of-factly as he points to your panties. You step out of them and Jay picks them up with one swift swipe. He tries to tuck them into his back pocket, but it doesn’t work. He tries two more times, but he can get the pocket open.

“They sew suit pant pockets closed, honey,” you whisper.

“Oh! Shit, really? I didn’t know that,” Jay replies with a sweet laugh. He holds your panties in his fist as he searches the room for a place to stash them. He finally tosses the wet garment towards his suit jacket. “They’re still mine, though.”

“Anything you want, Agent,”

“Yes!” Jay snaps back into character. “As I was saying, there’s still a lesson you need to learn, Laura. Turn around.” You comply.

“Hands,” Jay instructs. You extend both arms behind you as best you can.

He bends one end of the belt into a loop and threads it through the silver buckle. He grabs your right hand and wraps the loop over your wrist. He edges your left hand through the opposite side of the loops before pulling on the end of the belt. The leather constricts around your wrists, creaking sharply as he tightens the restraint.

You turn your head away from the cameras and speak to Jay over your shoulder: “I thought you were going to spank me with that.”

“Yeah, I thought about that,” Jay starts as he works the leather and furrows his brow in concentration. “But if anything is going to be smacking against your ass, I’d prefer it to be me.” You chuckle lightly before he runs his free hand up your bare back. His palm goes out wide against your skin as he breathes out slowly. “I just always want to be touching you, if that makes sense.”

You tuck your chin down; smiling from ear to ear. “I get it," you nod. "Makes total sense.”

Jay removes his hand and keeps working on your leather restraint. When he feels you’re bound sufficiently, he wraps the belt around your hands several more times and tucks the end securely between your wrists. Your hands are pointing in opposite directions behind your back, secured tightly with Jay's makeshift belt handcuffs. It’s a damn fine job. You want to ask him how in the hell he learned to do this, but that’s a question. Jay seems to read your mind:

“I looked this up on YouTube.” He’s clearly very proud of himself.

“Oh! Well it’s awesome. Really nice job. I definitely can’t get out of this,” you say as you wiggle an attempt at escape.

“Thanks, babe,” Jay replies. “Let’s get you back on the couch.”

Jay helps you walk backwards until the love seat hits the back of your knees. He guides your shoulders down until you are seated fairly comfortably near the edge. You wince as your battered, pink ass settles down on the seat cushion. 

“Do you remember the safe word?” Jay asks brightly. His teeth nip into his bottom lip as he cracks a crooked smile.

“I do, yeah. But I don’t think I’ll need it. I know you’d ever hurt me that much, JaaaaAgent Cooper.” _Nice save._

Jay reaches a hand up you and pushes some of the hair of your blonde wig away from your face. He adjusts your bangs and reaches down to hold your jaw with both hands. You close your eyes as he softly kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. He stands up in front of you and you open your eyes to watch him tower above you.

Jay seems to slip back into his role. “I never wanted to hurt you in the first place. You understand that, right?” His thumbs run over your cheeks in uniform circles. You nod shyly and appreciate his touch. “Pain can be powerful, but it’s not the only way to learn," he adds.

Jay releases his hold on your face and takes a step back. He examines the floor near the love seat for a moment before his eyebrows perk up. He bends down and grabs something off of the ground near your feet; it’s the torn and tattered bottom of your Morticia Addams dress. Jay reaches down again under the love seat on your right side and brings up the shinning silver scissors. He cuts straight through the middle of the skirt fabric, making two thin, 40-inch long strips of ratty, black material.

“Spread those beautiful legs for me, won’t you?”

You part your knees and wiggle your feet against the carpet to position them next to the front feet of the love seat. Your skirt falls into your lap, partially covering your still very wet cunt. Jay grabs your right foot and ties the black fabric tight against your skin. He knots the fabric twice before wrapping the tail around the right wooden leg of the love seat. He repeats the process on your left ankle before rising again to adjust the cameras.

Your legs are stretched open wide, but not painfully so. Thankfully, it’s a small couch and he’s put some slack into your ankle restraints. Jay walks to the stage left camera that had been aimed squarely at your ass and moves it to slightly behind your seat, pointing down to your chest and lap. “Lean back,” Jay instructs as he zooms in the camera’s view. Your hands become pinned as you lay your neck over the back of the love seat. Jay's camera can now capture your face as well as your body.

He walks to the center camera and moves it a few steps to the left. He peers into the viewfinder before shaking his head. “That just won’t do.” He walks purposefully up to you on the love seat and draws your skirt away from your lower half. “I can’t have you hiding that perfect pussy from the camera.”

The stage right camera seems to be in a good position and Jay leaves it there. He only zooms the lens in further, still keeping the black and white carpet, white mannequin, and red curtains in frame. Jay walks to you; his sleeves still wrapped up gorgeously at his elbows. His thin black tie is just slightly askew, but you’d never tell him. He stops a few feet away from you; lined up directly between your open legs.

“I only want you to learn one thing, so pay strict attention: ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ are subjective, Laura. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Did you know that?” You nod your head in the affirmative. “Too much pie and you’ll get sick,” Jay adds. “Too much coffee and you’ll get the shakes.” He’s really leaning into the Dale Cooper impression and it's so fucking cute your heart hurts. Maybe you'll buy him a handheld tape recorder to really finish the look. 

“Yes, sir," you answer through your wide smile.

"Oh, I'm sure you've heard that expression, Laura, but you need to _experience_ it."

You doubt there's much of any good thing that Jay could do to you that would ever be too much. "Whatever you say, Agent Cooper."

"I’m so pleased to hear you say that, Laura."

Jay kneels before you and places his hands on your knees. He bows down towards your wet center before pausing. He looks up to your face and his green eyes peer sincerely into yours. He whispers your name as his hands run up your thighs.

"Honestly, you need to tell me the _second_ you want me to stop, okay?" Jay implores.

You do your best to struggle your way back up to a normal sitting position with your hands still bound behind you. He looks nervous. Again, you keep your voice down so the mics won't pick it up.

"I trust you, honey. Don't worry. I'll let you know." His face cracks into a relieved smile. You continue on: "I've loved everything so far. "

"Really?!" he asks loudly. His smiling face makes his mustache curl up at the ends as he awaits your response.

"Yes, you big dork! Of course I have!" you laugh.

"Oh! That's great!” He yells. “Good..." he drums his hands against your thighs in thought. Your dripping pussy is barely a foot away from his face. "What was I talking ab…"

"You were going to teach me that too much of a good..." Jay cuts you off.

"Yes! Right! I got it. Okay, four, three..." Jay counts down for the camera. You lean back to position your neck against the back of the love seat. "Two, one…. Too much of a good thing can ruin a sweet girl like you. Let me show you."

Jay's calloused hands run up your bare thighs as he leans down and licks the length of your pussy. His tongue finds your clit immediately and he sucks it gently into his mouth. The index finger of his right hand teases your entrance in time with his kisses. Your restraints stretch tight against your skin as the muscles of your legs tense. Jay moves his face back enough to watch himself plunge two fingers into your cunt. He runs his tongue across your clit gently as his fingers ease in and out of you at a sumptuously slow pace.

He looks up at you as he curls his fingers up and into your g-spot. Your hips roll against his face in response. You bite down on your lip to keep from moaning, but it doesn’t do much to stifle the noise. You look down to see wrinkles at the corners of Jay’s green eyes hinting at a smile even as his mouth is busy lapping up your slick pussy.

He keeps his pace deliberate and steady, even as he replaces his two fingers with his tongue. He maintains the slow, intense pressure against your clit with his right thumb as he explores your sopping entrance with his mouth. You strain your wrists against the leather belt, wanting desperately to run your fingers through his short hair. Sweat is forming along your legs and back, making your hot skin stick to the leather of the seat. The blonde wig is suddenly swelteringly hot and you wish you could tear it off.

Jay starts to hum against your sweet spot and you give up trying to keep back your moaning. Your toes curl as your legs strain against the black ties near your ankles. “God, that feels so good!” You feel the tension slowly rising in your center. Jay’s humid breath rolls against your skin as he sucks your clit and languidly buries his fingers inside of you. Your hips buck against his mouth; beckoning to go faster. Your bare back peels away from the seat as your breasts press against the front of your dress with every breath.

“I’m so close!” You pant. “I need you to go faster, please. Oh my god! Please just a little faster.”

Jay makes no move to increase his speed. He maintains his leisurely pace, unhurriedly delving his fingers into you and coating them with your slick. Your legs try to clench shut and increase the friction to no avail. Instead, the black fabric around your ankles cuts sharply against your sweaty skin. You start to whimper before Jay finally shifts between your legs.

Instead of speeding up, he eases a third digit into you. The slow stretch is almost painful, but so fucking good. Your body shakes and you scream out as Jay’s thumb and pinky come to rest on either side of your aching cunt. Jay moves his mouth away from your clit, but keeps the steady rhythm with his left hand.

“Do you want more?” he asks with gravel in his voice. You manage to sit up straight enough to look into his eyes.

“Please, yes.” Your pelvis again moves against his touch, desperate for release.

His right hand immediately quickens, spreading you open as he plunges his fingers into you. His teeth bite into his lower lip as he watches your body fight against the leather belt and black fabric. A bead of sweat runs down your heaving breasts toward your stomach.

You feel the tension coiling fast. Your pussy is dripping wet with Jay’s fingers squelching obscenely as they pump into you. The fingers on his left hand speed up, gruffly circling your swollen clit. Your back arches away from the seat again as the walls of your cunt start to clamp down on his slick digits.

“You feel so fucking good,” you moan. Jay’s hands leave your body immediately. _What? No NO NO NO!_

Jay sits back on his ankles. "That’s no way for a young lady to speak," he chides.

“NOOOO!” you scream. “No! I was so fucking close!”

Jay shakes his head disapprovingly. The blonde hair of the wig sticks to the sides of your face as you jerk your shoulders against the couch. You screech like a wild animal; your legs straining again against the black fabric in a fruitless attempt at relieving the ache of your clit. “FUUUUUCK!!!”

Jay stands up tall between your legs. “The last few steps are always the darkest and most difficult,” he says as he runs his hand down his glistening beard. “Sit up straight, Laura,” he instructs. You grunt angrily, but you manage to sit up straight in the love seat.

He uses his index finger to pull down on the top of his thin, black tie. He loosens it enough to pull it over and off of his head as you still struggle helplessly.

Jay moves closer to you; his knees butting against the edge of the love seat. He loops his tie over your wig and holds it in place near your chin. “You need to keep this in your mouth. The second you spit it out, I’ll have to stop.” His eyes look larger now, like he’s trying to say something more. “Do you understand?” He winks with his left eye away outside the view of any camera.

 _Riiiight._  The gag means I can’t say the safe word.

“Yes, Agent Cooper. I understand.” You open your mouth obediently.

Jay pulls the small end of his tie away and the neck closes fast around your head and open lips. He rolls up the tie tightly and shoves it into your mouth. You bite down to keep it in place.

Jay steps back to take you in… your arms pinned behind your back, body heaving with every breath, sweat dripping down your temples and chest. Your legs are still splayed wide and your cunt is served up to him on a platter.

“You are so fucking beautiful like this,” Jay says awestruck. You bite down hard on his tie.

Jay reaches back down to the carpet and retrieves the long scissors. He opens and shuts them twice before pointing them at your writhing body.

“This is an awfully revealing dress, don’t you think, Laura?” You cock your head quizzically. “I think a dress like this sends the wrong message to unsavory men,” Jay continues. “You should probably get rid of it.”

You nod your head in agreement. Naked is good. Naked with Jay is better.

Jay puts the scissors in his right hand as he pulls the front of your dress away with his left. He cuts straight down the cum-stained fabric for a few inches before veering over to the high slit of your skirt. The dress pops open as he makes the last snip. He places the shears on the carpet before drifting back up to your chest. He pushes the fabric away from your breasts reverently. His intense gaze never wanders as his thumbs trace your nipples in small circles. They stiffen into small peaks under his touch. You whimper quietly before he moves away.

“Remember. If you drop that tie, this ends.” Again, you nod your permission.

Jay kneels down before you again. He reaches up to run his hands down from your shoulders, over your breasts and down your stomach before landing on your thighs. He delves back into your pussy, flattening his tongue for another pass over your slit. You groan against the tie.

His pace is much quicker this time; licking intently as his hands dig into the soft flesh of your thighs. His sharp nose flicks against your clit as he laves your entrance with his pink tongue. You want to keep watching, but it feels too fucking good. You lean back against the seat and rest your head on the back of the love seat. Your hips roll up to grant him better access.

Jay’s mouth focuses on your clit as he eases his three fingers back into your cunt. His left hand reaches up to your breast, cupping and kneading it in time with his plunging fingers. You moan incoherently into his tie. Your pussy is so wet that your slick is dripping down to his wrists. Jay eases his mouth away and watches your body writhe under his total domination.

“Is this good?” Jay asks. You moan wantonly against the tie and nod your head.

Jay continues to watch your body undulate in pleasure. He plays you like an instrument; watching as your breath hitches each time he flicks at your clit, how your hips roll against his hand as he curls his fingers inside of you. His skilled hands quickly bring you back to the precipice. You bite down harder against the silken fabric as your body tenses. A fire is pooling in your abdomen with a heat so intense it threatens to burn you from the inside out. Your spine arches away from the seat as your teeth crush down like a vice grip the black gag. Your vision starts to go white.

Again, Jay’s hands vanish.

You howl in anguish and struggle helplessly against your restraints. Tears well up in your eyes. You peer down at him with pleading eyes; your body shaking in frustration.  You strain against the belt and the black ties at your ankles. You want to cum so much it fucking hurts. Jay looks up at you innocently; his beard and mustache drenched with your slick.

“What do you need, my sweet girl?”

You whimper pathetically. If you spit out the tie, it’s over, so you have to keep quiet and play along. Maybe he won’t let you cum unless he’s inside you? _Who knows? Fuck it._ At least he won’t be able to control himself this much if he’s in as much pleasure as you are. You sit up and motion to his cock with your head.

“Are you sure?” Jay asks with a toothy smile.

You shake your head enthusiastically. _Yes, you fucking asshole!_

Jay reaches down to his black slacks and unbuttons them. He unzips and pulls his pants down around his hips. His grey boxer briefs strain against his erect cock. Jay runs his palm across his cotton-covered dick as he peers at your aching pussy.

 _Stop taking fucking forever!_ You scream into the tie as you bite hard. You shift down, positioning your cunt off of the edge of the seat. The wetness dripping from your pussy almost makes you slide off, but you catch yourself in time.

“So greedy for my cock,” Jay says smugly. You want to deny it, but your mouth is currently gagged. Plus, you have to admit, you really do want his fucking cock. You nod in the affirmative, slightly embarrassed about how right he is.

Jay pulls his hard manhood free from his pants and lines himself up to your entrance. He grips his dick and runs the smooth skin of his shaft to part the lips of your wet cunt as your hips buck up to him. He keeps his cock against your pussy as he unbuttons his long sleeve shirt to expose his chest. You notice his skin is covered in a sheen of sweat. _Good_. He can’t hold out very long now. Jay grabs the base of his cock and rubs the head back and forth on top of your clit.

“Are you ready to cum?” he asks darkly.

Your eyebrows perk up as your eyes go wide. You nod your head several times in quick succession. Your teeth still keep the tie in place as you mumble a yes.

Jay slaps the head of his cock against your clit three times and your body jolts in response. He spits down onto his dick and smooths the saliva over his skin before he guides his cock into your ready entrance.

He shudders as his hips bottom out in you. You moan out into the tie, feeling yourself stretch around him.

“Nothing feels better than you," he breathes barely above a whisper.

Jay wastes no time, starting a blissful rhythm driving his cock into you. You’ve been so close for so long. Your legs stretch open wider as he grips down on your right hip and pulls your pelvis to meet his with every thrust. You bite down on the tie; drool now dripping down edges of your mouth. He reaches up and kneads the round flesh of your left breast. They bounce each time Jay slams his hips against into you.

Beads of sweat form at Jay’s temples as he pounds against you. You roll your hips against him, building the friction on your clit as Jay’s cock penetrates you over and over again. Tension coils again low in your abdomen as you strain against the leather belt. Jay keeps a firm hand on your hip and reaches down with his right hand to caress your clit. He flicks two fingers quickly over your sensitive bud; it's nearly painful but it's just what you need.

Your back arches and the black fabric around your ankles cuts into your skin as your entire body tenses. Time slows to a crawl as your vision goes white. Your jaw locks down against Jay’s tie as you explode. Your muffled scream bounces off the walls of the set and feel your dripping wet pussy pulsating around his cock. Jay’s fingers on your clit draw out your pleasure further, sending shockwave after shockwave through your body. Your body spasms as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. It’s almost too much. You grunt against Jay’s tie as you squirm.

Jay picks up the pace of his thrusts, slamming harder into your cunt. His fingers never leave your clit; fanning a flame that’s consuming your entire body. You scream into the tie as a second climax brings tears to your eyes. Sweat drips down your heaving chest. Your limbs thrash against the restraints. 

A third orgasm rips through your body, sending out ripples of fire as you roar into your black gag. Your brain short-circuits as Jay roughly pounds your aching pussy. You bite down hard on his tie as drool oozes down your neck. Your legs desperately try to clamp shut, but the black fabric holds tight.

You hear the leather around your wrists creak as a fourth orgasm takes over. You cry helplessly against the tie as tears start to run down your face. You open your eyes to plead with Jay; the pleasure is going to tear you in half.

Jay’s mouth hangs open as he watches your body contort in beautiful agony. You shake your head... you don’t know if you can’t take anymore. His fingers stop their relentless movement against your clit, but he doesn't stop fucking you.  

“Had enough?” he pants; still slamming his cock into your quivering cunt. You moan into his tie and nod ‘yes’ as quickly as you can.

“I need one more. Can you give me one more?” he asks through clenched teeth. You scream hard, but you keep the tie in your mouth. You want to see him come undone; to hear his groan as he loses control; feel his cum dripping out of you. You take a breath and moan in the affirmative; tears pouring out of your eyes. 

Jay’s fingers resume the assault on your raw clit as he fucks you harder. Your tits bounce wildly with each rough snap of his hips. You focus on the sound of his strained grunts as his breath starts to hitch in his chest. He gasps loudly as the pleasure starts to take over his body. He bares his teeth; sweat dripping down his temples. Jay gasps and his hips still as the fingers of his right hand dig you into your hip hard enough to bruise.

His pained cries are enough to send you over the edge for a fifth time just before he screams loud enough to wake the dead: “Oh FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUUUCK!!!” Jay buries his cock inside of you; bottoming out against your hips. Your cunt flutters around him with the waves of your last, blinding orgasm. He doubles over as hot ropes of his cum fill you to the brim. He collapses on your stomach; his body spasming against you. Now it’s his turn to whimper; his hot breath pouring over your sweat-drenched chest.

You finally spit out the end of his black tie and try to catch your breath. His body twitches each time your pussy pulses around his softening cock. Your head is still swirling as Jay pants against your breast; utterly spent.

“I love you," he sighs.

Jay immediately freezes and your head snaps upright. Your eyes go wide with shock and you scream into your gag: “WHHT TH FCK!?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a big one! So much delicious torture. And then an emotional truth bomb!
> 
> Did it go too far? Or not too far enough?
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. What do you think?! Let me know! Comment on the work here or message me on my [tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/).
> 
>  **UPDATE:** Holy wow! I've had 200+ views on this fic in 3 days! It took 5 months to get that many views on my first story. I don't know where you guys are coming from, but I'm glad you're here. Also: Where are you coming from? Drop me a line, I'd love to thank whoever or whatever sent you my way.


	8. Earlier That Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flash back. And another flash back in that flash back... _Inception_ style! (But with smut).

"I love...you….yu...Eugene Levy." 

 _Shit_.

Jay’s view falls from the mirror down to his shiny chrome faucet as he shakes his head in disappointment. He rolls his shoulders, looks back up into his own green eyes, and tries it again.

"Hey, babe," he starts with a soft smile. "I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about it a lot and… I think… you… you're great. And I’m great.. I mean I’m _good..._ and I lo..." 

He blows out hard through his nose in frustration; making a high whistling noise that bounces off the walls of his small bathroom. His hands grip the spotless white porcelain of his sink. 

"Just fucking say it, you asshole! People say it every fucking day." 

But he doesn't say it. He’s nearing 40 and he's **never** said it. At least never out loud to someone that he wasn’t related to. Jay tries something familiar; attempting to get a feel for it. He looks at his own image in the mirror and takes a deep breath, envisioning someone safe. 

"Hey Mom,” he smiles. “I love you." 

 _Boom_! Jay throws his arms straight up like he’s scored a touchdown at Lambeau. 

_Nailed it._

"Okay,” he continues with a nod of approval. “Now you just gotta say it to someone who's not your fucking mom," he reasons outloud. 

"Babe… I… love.. yo…..ur ass."

“SHIT!” he growls at himself. 

He looks down to small ceramic cup perched on the bathroom counter top. Two toothbrushes slouch against each other like drunk friends. It’s the glittery purple one that really catches his eye. He sighs again. You've been gone for three days now; some stupid trip for work. 

He turns the squeaky faucet and palms a handful of cold water. He watches distractedly as it pools and swirls across his fingers. He thinks back to a few days ago when he walked beside you along the downtown waterfront. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

_Jay finds himself ten minutes into explaining the entire plot of Night of the Living Dead Part 3 as really more of a love story for some reason he can’t remember. All he’s focused on is the woman holding his hand. He wants to hell her he loves her, but a breeze is flowing through her hair and it smells amazing and she’s laughing and he can’t seem to think about anything else. She pulls down her sunglasses and gazes into his eyes._

_"Thanks for the recap, honey,” she smiles sincerely. She's so beautiful like this. “But again with the sexy zombie girls... Is it just a running joke or do you actually have a dead-girl sex fantasy?" she asks between bouts of bright laughter._

_"No! Damn it! **I’m not into dead-girl sex!** ” Jay shouts a little too loudly. A bickering elderly couple nearby throw the pair a look of disgust. Jay makes a show of hiding his face before he squeezes her hand and walks a few steps away. They rest their elbows across the old wooden railing of the bridge as they try to stifle their giggling. He watches the water of the Milwaukee River swirl in the eddies near the bridge supports. _

_“It's not like it's my thing. The **dead** part, I mean," Jay starts. "It's just… I don’t know… that I like the idea of a passive partner so I don't have to be worried that I’m fucking something up. Like permission to be a little selfish with sex, I guess.” _

_“So you’re saying you don’t want me to pretend to be dead next time? Cause I had a whole plan worked out,” she says with a coy smile. “I was even going to ice down my naughty bits and lay totally still for realism.”_

_“Awww! Babe! That’s so thoughtful!” he jokes. Jay lets go of the railing and covers his blushing face. “Yeah, but really... No need to ice down your vagina.” He picks at his cuticles as he formulates his next thought, still staring down at the glimmering water._

_"I guess guys are always wondering if we’re doing things right or if we’re being compared to an ex who did it better or something. Like ‘Is she going to hate this?’ or ‘Is she **actually** enjoying herself?’ I mean… It can be a lot of pressure, you know?" _

_Her eyebrows scrunch up as she tries to understand him. "I don't compare you to anyone," she assures him. He seems unswayed. “Jay? Is this all because of the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally when every man found out that women can fake it?”_

_Jay laughs, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes._

_“Uhhh, kinda? I guess. I think every guy is always trying to do everything right in bed,” Jay confides. He scratches a small piece of brown paint off of the railing near his left elbow. “The thought of just being able to do whatever I want to please a girl without the possibility of being judged or feeling like I’m a weirdo… that’s the real fantasy."_

_He avoids seeing her reaction. So she just curls her arm around his bicep and plants a small kiss on his cheek. They stand alongside each other on the bridge railing and listen to the river bubble below their feet_. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

“Why the fuck did you say that shit outloud?” Jay curses himself. “Could have just said, ‘Nope. I don’t like dead-people fucking, babe. That’s fucked up.’ But you had to go fucking tell her you want some real selfish and weird sex.” 

He looks back up to his reflection and splashes the handful of water against his face; drawing his fingers down his miserable, bearded cheeks. 

“Dumbass.”

 _Two more days._ He's got two more days of practice before you get home. That's like, 48 entire hours away from now. Plenty of time. Then he'll make everything up to you. He'll tell you when you gets home. Probably. Definitely probably. 

Jay turns off the old faucet and heads out of his bathroom and into the hallway. He stands motionless, peering down at his white ankle socks. _When did it get so quiet?_ He's lived here for three years now, but he's sure it's never been this quiet. 

_Where's Regan?_

Jay loudly calls to his beloved cat as he makes the short trek to his office. Regan is sprawled out on her side on top of the small red futon couch. Jay manages to claim a seat on the far right side and leans down to pet Regan’s black fur. 

She purrs in response, but doesn’t bother with opening her eyes.

"What do you think, Regan? Should I tell her?" Regan finally cracks her left eye open to look at her worried father. "You like her, right?" 

The large cat rolls over to her back, demanding a round of belly scratches. Jay is happy to oblige. 

"It's not that big a deal though, right? It's been about a year. Most people have probably said it by now. I'm just making it weird, aren't I?" Jay reasons to the now very content cat. He stops the belly scratches and reaches to hold Regan’s tiny face in both hands. Regan opens her gold eyes wide in confusion. 

"Hey, Regan," Jay starts earnestly. "I love you." 

The black cat stares back expressionless before shaking her head free of Jay’s gentle grasp. She lurches over and stretches up on all fours. Without looking back, she bounds off of the red couch and sprints out the door. Crestfallen, Jay flops down against the small sofa. 

"Thanks, Regan! Remind me to never confide in you again!" Jay shouts down the hallway. 

He drums against his knees and blows out raspberry as he looks around his office. His Macbook sits open and waiting on his desk top; promising a fun, easy release from his boredom. 

Jay purses his lips in consideration. Maybe he'll feel better if he knocks one out. He hasn't checked on those Suicide Girls in quite some time. _They must be lonely_ , he reckons. 

Jay transfers to his desk chair and shakes the mouse to wake his sleeping computer. When he looks back to the screen, he slaps his hand to his forehead. His browser is still open to the _XXX-orcist_  trailer video.

_Right. Because showing her the trailers for your favorite porn remakes of horror movies really helps to disprove your love of dead-people sex. Jackass._

Jay shakes his head slightly and shrugs. 

"At least she laughed at the _Re-Penetrator_ trailer."

Jay raises an eyebrow at that. _Hmmm…_

It was one thing to tell his girlfriend that he enjoyed the movie; you even made a pact to watch it together soon. But to let you in on the fact he has actually _owned_ the DVD since 2006 was another matter.

Still, you're out of town for another two days. He can tell you about the DVD later, or maybe pretend like he JUST bought it off of eBay last week. He’ll think of an explanation before you get back.

Jay moves to his office closet and pulls out a large black shoebox labeled “BILLS.” He clears off the dusty lid and sets it aside. The old box looks just the same as he last left it; half full of adult videos. In the days before internet porn was free and easy to download, Jay had amassed a small (but well-curated) smut stash. A couple of compilations discs, sure; but mostly story-based titles from Evil Angel and Vivid. Even the collector's edition of _Pirates_ from Digital Playground. He especially liked the set design and costumes in that one.   

"The early 2000's were a different time," Jay sighs. 

He spots the _Re-Penetrator_ DVD easily; the neon green DVD case is a dead-giveaway. He leaves the box of porn open on the floor before he wheels back to his iMac and pops in the movie. 

The computer hard drive spins to life and a DVD menu appears on screen. The movie is only about 20 minutes long, so there's no chapters to navigate. Just a blow job and some fucking, if he recalls correctly. 

"You gotta promise not to watch it until I get back… 'till I get back…'till I get back…" your words echo in Jay's mind. And something about punishment, but he can't quite recall that part. You looked really pretty when you said it, though. That part he remembers. 

He knows he probably shouldn't, but by now the blood is rushing out of his head and straight to his dick. It's already been three days and you'll be gone for another two. That's a long time to wait. Plus, he doesn't want to get rusty; that would just be irresponsible. 

Jay nods in agreement with himself. He moves the cursor on the video to just after the part when the doctor injects the dead girl with the glowing zombie juice and she comes back to life (and craving cock, of course). It's a great concept for a porn, but the acting is terrible. Still, he knows it will get the job done. He palms himself against the fabric of his khaki shorts. 

The naked zombie girl's eyes flash bright green and she goes straight for the doctor's dick. Jay shifts in the chair, pulling his shorts and boxers down to his hips. He takes his hardening manhood in hand and starts a slow pump in time with the movement of the zombie girl's mouth. 

Jay curls his toes as he watches her blood-covered breasts bounce when the doctor increases the pace of his thrusts. His right hand tightens around his stiff cock; the pressure focused on the area just under his head. Jay spits down into his hand and coats his shaft with the slippery fluid. The sounds of his wet palm sliding against his throbbing cock start to fill the room. 

The zombie girl on screen grunts with effort and lets out a deep moan. A thick string of drool runs from her mouth to the base of the doctor's dick. Jay watches her tongue swirl around his cock and feels the pressure building inside himself. He rolls up the bottom of his t-shirt and tucks it up high on his chest in anticipation. 

_GUSH!_

Blood blasts out of the zombie's mouth against the doctor's crotch. 

 _Ugh… Hmmmm_...

He forgot about that part.

 _Jesus, that's a lot of blood._ Jay knows it's just Karo syrup and red food coloring pushed through a tube that's probably hidden by the zombie girl's hand. But still… Not what he was really looking for. He keeps up a languid pace, trying to not let the bloody oral sex on screen ruin his erection. 

He moves the cursor again, past two more bloody explosions, to the pure zombie fuck-fest.

The doctor is just plowing her now. _Nice_. She's moaning and writhing in pleasure under his rough thrusts. 

 _Okay,_ he thinks. _Back on track._  

Jay watches as the doctor bends his undead patient across the examination table. He picks up the speed of his strokes. It's okay, but not nearly enough. He takes his left hand and ghosts his fingertips along the sensitive flesh of his balls. 

It's perfect. He imagines the zombie girl pleading incoherently for his cock. In his mind, she's on her knees, gasping and pleading for his cum to fill her. Jay sees her ready and willing in his mind; begging him for more. His balls pull up, ready to spill onto his chest. He pumps against himself in time with her moaning cries. 

But nothing happens. 

He grunts and increases the pressure; rolling his sensitive flesh in his hands and pumping at a fever pitch. He's at the precipice now. His head falls back; sweat gathering at his temples. 

And still, nothing happens. 

"Come on!!! " he exclaims. 

This porn has **always** worked. Bloody BJ or no, this was his go-to for years. Why the fuck isn't it working? 

Jay stills; his cock painfully hard. The doctor continues on fucking the zombie girl in a wide variety of positions. They're both having a great time. Why can't he?! 

Jay looks down at his swollen member and then back up at the screaming undead girl. Great tits... nice ass... obviously in to some weird shit... She _should_ be perfect. But... 

She's not you. 

If you were here, you'd respond to his every touch. You would keen your back against him and moan every time he bit down on your breasts. Your fingers would thread through his hair as they always do and you'd pant his name so sweetly. Your nails would dig into his skin and he'd taste the sweat along your collar bone as you rode him hard. 

The sounds of the zombie girl fade into the recesses of his mind as he loses himself in the memory. You whimper and cry out his name as he enters you; wrapping your legs tightly around his waist. You bite his bottom lip, passing along the delicious pain of your body stretching around his cock. 

He hears your hushed cries in his ear; your breasts heaving against his chest. Your body arching up against his own before you cum. You plead for release as you bite down against his neck. Jay's hips rise out of his office chair as he thrusts his hips up into his hand. His head falls to the side as his balls seize up into his body; ready for his release. 

He feels your pussy clamp down around his cock as the zombie girl starts to disembowel the doctor on the exam table. He's lost in the imagined sounds of your satisfied moan and the phantom feel of being buried deep inside of you. He can almost feel your ankles digging into his back; your hand gripping his ass and pulling him in deeper. 

He cums hard; his seed erupting in strangled bursts across his stomach. He pants through clenched teeth as his body shakes and he milks his cock of every drop. Jay bites down against his bottom lip and his head falls back as the last of his orgasm quakes through his body. 

"Well **that** took forever," comes your voice from over his shoulder. 

His knees slam into the bottom of his desk. He yelps as his body curls into a ball; struggling to hide his cum-smeared abdomen. Jay's face is beet red and awash with shame. He looks back to you pathetically; your hands crossed across your chest. His mind races trying to think of an excuse. Absolutely fucking nothing comes to mind. 

"How long were you watching?" 

"Since the DVD menu." You smile at him knowingly.

His head plummets down to his chest in embarrassment. 

"You broke your promise, Jay. You've got ten minutes to get cleaned up: I'm getting the camcorder." You turn on your heel and head towards his bedroom. 

 _Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! **FUUUCK!**_   Jay screams internally. He looks down to see his grey OmniCorp shirt is now covered in cum. _Well that's just fucking grea..._

_Wait._

Jay pauses. His face pops up to peer at the empty doorway. 

_Why the fuck was she **smiling** at me? _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. This year's Pride was crazy! So much prep and glitter and float-making! I neglected my poor baby Jay. 
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing a male-perspective story. What do you think? Let me know! Thanks to a lovely Anon who messaged me on my [tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/) with the suggestion of a solo--Jay story!


	9. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A man that doesn’t love easily loves too much."  
> -Agent Dale Cooper

Jay stays in place; his head in the dead center of your heaving chest. You feel the tug of your blonde wig as it sticks to your cheeks. Jay shuts his eyes tightly as he buries his face between your breasts and groans miserably.

Your arms are still tied behind your back; legs open obscenely wide. You try to use your tongue to force the knot of Jay’s black tie out of your mouth. You managed to push the spit-soaked tie out around your chin. 

“ **NOW?!?!** ” you spit out. “NOW is when you tell me that?!?!”

Jay's shoulders draw up to his ears in defense. “Don’t be mad. _Pleeeease_ don't be mad," he pleads into you flushed skin.

You burst into laughter and Jay winces on top of you. 

"Look at me," you tell him as your laughing threatens to take over. He inhales deeply and holds his breath as he makes his way up to a kneeling position. His soft, wet cock still hangs out of his pants.

With some impressive jaw wriggling, you manage to get his black tie out past your chin and it finally falls down around your neck. Jay’s teeth bite into his lip hard enough to draw blood as he finally looks up to you. His green eyes are pleading for mercy. 

"Honey, I'm not mad!" you try to assure him. Jay looks sceptical, but slightly less miserable. You want nothing more than to wrap your arms around his shoulders and comfort the poor man, but you're still very well tied up. 

"Jay," you say before shaking your head in an attempt to spit some blonde wig hair out of your mouth. "Get me out of this."

He stands up straight and tucks his dick back into his dark trousers before bending down to retrieve the scissors. He cuts the black fabric away from your ankles and takes a step back. Your arms are still wrapped in his leather belt behind your back. 

"Hands, too, please."

"Oh shit, right. Sorry," Jay blurts out as he quickly moves to you. 

He helps you up by your elbows and unwinds his leather belt from between your wrists. Standing up straight causes Jay’s cum to ooze out of your pussy and run down your thighs. 

The makeshift handcuffs fall to the floor as he awaits your response. You take a moment to rub the feeling back into your hands before you see just what damage Jay inflicted on your dress. It’s essentially just an open robe now; exposing nearly the full front of your body. Jay’s face is pointed down; shoulders up to his ears. 

"Jay, honey," you start. You draw your hands to his jaw and gently pull his face up to meet yours. "You have to admit, this is a strange time to admit that," you giggle. 

"Yeah I know," he shrugs. "It was stupid, I'm sorry."

"God, no! It wasn't stupid! Not at all," you assure him. His eyes are still aimed at the black and white carpet. "You know honey, most couples don't even remember the first time they said they loved each other. Probably after watching The Notebook or in a park or some… something…" 

"Something _normal_?" he offers in a quiet voice. 

"Jay,” you start as you cup his handome face in your hands. “I'm dressed up like Laura Palmer and covered in your spunk... I think we passed 'something normal' quite a while ago," you laugh. You run your fingers through the course hair along his jawline. "But I'll never forget it! I have an amazing story now! And…” you point to each of the three cameras, "... it's all caught on film!"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean for it.. I mean.. I didn't want…" he trails off with a shrug.

"Oh, you dumb, sexy man." You know he's absolutely mortified now that his feelings have been laid bare. 

 _You’d better even up the playing field_. 

You loosen Jay's slim black tie from around your neck and slip it up off of your head before gently pulling it back over Jay's. You tighten it back under his collar and smooth it down the front of his chest; enjoying the feel of the rise and fall of his body as he breathes. You gather up his discarded belt before threading it back through the loops of his dark trousers. You do your best to fasten the belt together at his front, but it's probably not as tight as he would make it. Still… 

_Now he's got some of his armor back on._

You take a step back and pull the shredded remains of your dress off of your shoulders. The black fabric falls to the floor and you stand completely naked in front of him. The sweat of your body gleams under the set lights. You spread out your arms wide; completely and gloriously naked. Jay finally looks up; first at your bare feet, then your pink thighs, your naked chest, and finally up to your face. 

You never take your eyes away from his as you close the distance between your bodies. Your left hand glides across his neck and wraps around the sweat-drenched hair at the back of his head. The fingers of your right hand ghost across his scruffy beard before you run your thumb across his swollen bottom lip. You pull his face closer as your head tilts softly. Jay's hands stay at his sides; too afraid to reach out. He’s close, but the last few steps are always the darkest and most difficult.

"I love you, too," you say simply.

Jay's perks up a questioning eyebrow. "Are you sure?" 

"Is John Carpenter's favorite font Albertus?" 

An invisible weight topples off of Jay's shoulders. He laughs with his whole body and stands a foot taller. The wide, toothy smile on his face is so beautiful your heart skips. 

"Really?!" 

“For fuck’s sake, Jay! Of course, ‘ _really_ ’!”

Jay's arms wrap around your waist in an instant, threatening to crush you in half. The air goes out of your lungs as you wrap both arms over his shoulders. He lifts your naked body off of the floor and spins you around the Red Room set. You nuzzle into his neck as your feet swing out behind you.

"Okay, honey! Stop. Honey?! I'm gonna be sick," you laugh. 

"Shit! Sorry!" Jay apologizes as he sets you back down on two bare feet; your head still spinning. You do your best to stop wobbling while Jay gently holds you by the shoulders.

"Oh god, please don’t puke!" Jay pleads as you try to stand straight.

“I’m not gonna puke! I’m just dizzy and in love,” you explain with a laugh. 

Jay reaches to the back of your blonde wig and pulls you close. His lips crash against yours; pouring every bit of his love and passion and joy into the kiss. You open your mouth to him, purring quietly as your tongues circle one another. His thumbs massage your jawline before he pulls away to look into your smiling eyes. You find yourself at a loss for words; nothing could describe how beautiful he looks is in this moment. You’re totally naked, but completely enveloped in warmth.

A minute passes by. Or an hour. Hard to say. The spell fades just a bit as Jay’s cum drips down to the back of your knee.

"I wish you guys had a shower here," you confide before motioning down to your naked body. 

"Oh! Yeah," Jay replies. He scratches at his temple as he considers your glistening form. "Wait! I think I got it!" He bolts stage left and runs into the small, dark workshop. You stand naked on set, looking awkwardly at the cameras. 

"So can we turn these off, then?" you yell to Jay. 

"Not yet!" his cheerful voice echoes through the warehouse. You hear the metallic sounds of a spigot turning in the workshop sink. 

Jay returns a few seconds later with a soapy bucket of water and a large yellow car sponge. Warm suds slosh onto his black and white chevron carpet as he walks. Jay sets the soapy tub on the floor next to your feet. He shrugs not-so-innocently before pushing his white shirt back up past his elbows. 

He walks back to the center stage camera and zooms in the lens. You make a show of blowing him a kiss and he smiles wide behind the viewfinder. He struts back to you with a confident smirk on his face. 

"You’ve just gotten yourself so dirty..." Jay starts with a twinkle in his eye, "...my love."

He plunges the sponge in the soapy water and wrings half of it out into the bucket. “Pull your hair back,” he instructs. You obey his command; holding your blonde wig as you interlock your fingers behind your neck. Your chest is on full display for Jay and the cameras now, still coated in a sheen of sweat and cum and god knows what else. 

Jay leans down and flicks his tongue against your right nipple as he rests the wet sponge atop your other breast. He sucks at your flesh greedily as the mild water begins to drip down your chest. He pulls his mouth away with a wet pop before he wrings out the sponge with both hands. Warm suds melt over your breasts, dripping down to your belly button and beyond. Jay breathes deeply as he runs the yellow sponge over your skin. 

He reaches down to submerge the sponge again. This time, he pulls it out fully soaked and wrings it out over your shoulders. Jay watches the soapy water cascade down your body and drip onto the carpet. He drops the empty sponge back into the bucket and looks at you with reverence. 

His hands glide across your slippery skin as he washes away the evidence of the afternoon’s activity. He pays special attention to the space between your breasts; feeling his cum still clinging to your skin near your belly button. He looks back up to your eyes as his hands roam lower. He grabs another sponge-full of warm water and showers the fresh bruises developing high up on your hips. 

"Turn around," Jay directs. You pivot on your toes and move to face the red curtain at the back of the stage. He presses the sponge against the back of your neck and the pleasant water races down your back side. Jay's right hand runs over your spine to the top of your ass. His fingers knead your sore muscles; taking special care of the many welts and teeth marks he's left on your flesh. 

“Face the camera and open your legs."

You obey without a word, taking a small step to your right and planting your feet shoulder-width apart. Jay soaks the sponge with his left hand and brings it up to your stomach. He presses the sponge against your body; a small stream of warm water dribbles over your belly button and down to the apex of your thighs. 

Jay's right hand cups your womanhood and he eases his fingers past your outer lips. You wince as he nears your very tender clit. 

"Don't worry," Jay comforts. "I think you've had enough for now." 

"Yeah," you tell him barely above a whisper. "I think I'm going to be walking funny for a week after this." 

Jay's green eyes wrinkle at the corners as he smiles proudly. "I think you'll be fine, babe. Besides, when the will is invoked, the recuperative powers of the physical body are simply extraordinary.”

You can't keep back a girlish giggle at the Agent Cooper line. You lean forward, keeping your hands behind your head as you plant a light kiss to Jay's lips. He watches your face for any signs of distress as he delves further; gently washing away the last of his seed from your entrance. You bite your lip in response to his touch. You may be sore, but you're not dead. 

Jay kneels onto the wet carpet at your feet and draws the yellow sponge along your inner thighs down to your ankles. The water is cooling across your body as you stand exposed to the open air of the studio. You shiver as goosebumps appear across your legs. 

"I can't have you freeze on my watch!" Jay shouts before tossing the sponge into the soapy bucket and sprinting over to the costume rack near the left side of the stage. He tears through a half dozen Lightning Fast VCR Repair uniforms, gorilla costumes, and racoon sweatshirts before he finally finds a suitable garment. He quickly yanks it off of the hanger and rushes back to you on set. 

Jay throws out his hands, holding Mike's overcoat from _Space Cop_ open wide. 

You laugh and finally bring your hands down from behind your neck. Jay helps thread your arms though Mike's spacious jacket and ties it closed at your waist. He walks to each of the three cameras and shuts them off as you step back into your shoes. You smile at Jay mischievously as he returns from the stage right camera. "Mike's gonna be pissed, you know." 

"Not as bad as Rich is gonna be," Jay replies. "That's his grandmother's furniture." You both look down at the obvious ass prints and cum stains currently covering Rich's love seat and burst into laughter. 

"It's fine," Jay says after the worst is the laughing is over. "You can go get your clothes back on and I'll clean it quick."

"I have two questions. Can I ask them now?" you start. "Oh shit! That's a question!" 

"You're fine, babe," Jay chuckles. "You can ask anything you want now." 

"Okay great! First: Do you still have your leather jacket from _Space Cop_? And second: can you find an eyepatch before next weekend?" 

"Ummm…" he laughs before raising an eyebrow. "Yes and yes, actually. Why?" 

"Cause that's when we're making an _Escape From L.A._ porno!"

Jay blurts out a hearty laugh and he reaches up to cover his mouth. " _Escape from T &A_?" he offers. 

" _Exactly_! And _that's_ why I love you!" you reply with a smile. Jay beams as he hears your easy declaration. "You'll be playing the role of Snake Foreskin, obviously."

"Obviously, sure," he laughs. 

Jay sighs in contentment and steps towards you. He wraps you up tightly in his arms and places a kiss to your temple. 

"I'm so glad you didn't run off when I said I loved you," he confides as he nuzzles his bearded cheek against your face. You move away slowly and reach down to hold both of Jay's hands in yours. 

"Never," you reply sincerely. 

You drop Jay's hands and take a few steps towards his office. You turn back to see Jay kneeling by the love seat and dunking the yellow sponge back into the bucket before you decide to come totally clean. 

"I've actually had a while to get used to the idea of you loving me," you confess. You keep your eyes on him as you walk backwards towards the exit. 

Jay again looks very confused, squinting to see you walking to the door. 

"I've heard you practicing in the bathroom mirror for the last three months, honey," you shout. 

You give Jay a big smile before spinning on your heel and pulling the studio door open wide. The sound of Jay's hand slapping against his forehead echoes through the warehouse just before the door closes behind you. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now! Thank you so much for riding this trash train with me! I've loved every moment of writing this story and I appreciate every bit of reader feedback. I hope you got some enjoyment out of my Jay Bauman smut! Please leave me a comment here or reach out to me on Tumblr.
> 
> Perhaps an epilogue to this story? We'll see!


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